Bitter News, 7-29-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as dangerous as tanning beds and Megan Fox blackout day:

• In these lean economic times, the Skadden conference room is seeing a lot less business AND ass than it used to.  Well, at least that’s what this chick who works in HR at a “major Wall Street firm” said for a free martini.  She claims that the amount of sex that physically takes places in law firms nosedives when the market goes south.  People are no longer enjoying the good ol’ days of bumpin’ uglies in the office because “the crash dampened their hormones.” I find dampened hormones hard to believe, but wizening up enough to not crap where you eat seems to be a good-enough principle to implement about now. Why again do people give Bitter Lawyer grief for mentioning that lawyers might fancy a little hooker nookie now and again?  Sex happens.  But not on Mr. Flom’s desk.  At least not today.  [Clusterstock on The Business Insider]

• Sex does happen—so don’t get caught.  Ya listening?  But when we hear of lawyers getting their names interwoven into headlines with words like “sex” and “illegal,” there’s a line that’s sometimes crossed between “scandalous behavior” to “that sick f@&K really s#!t the bed.” (And it’s a pretty obvious, well-defined line.) Cravath tax lawyer James Colliton Goldman Sachs lawyer Todd Genger has volunteered to be today’s poster child for said line crossing.  He’s apparently one of the 26 Americans who hasn’t seen countless fools enjoy a glass of Chris Hansen’s enticing lemonade on To Catch a Predator.  A wife and three kids aside, 33-year-old Todd attempted to lure a 15-year-old girl into having sex via web chatroom.  And that underage coed happened to be an undercover investigator running a sting operation.  How long til the laid-off masses start faxing resumes to Goldman HR?  Buy the HR person a martini, and you might have a shot.  [New York Daily News]

• More sex and lawyer news please! Jonathan Milstein, a former assistant attorney general, is being accused of harassment for allegedly posting his neighbor’s phone number on adult sex Web sites like FriendFinder and Fling—which are only linked for journalistic purposes.  [Seattle Times]

• Oh, and Constant Reminder Alert: Eliot Spitzer slept with hookers.  [Gawker]

• There’s no classy segue into this, so lets drive into the empty pool.  In quite-sad death news:

—A lightening strike killed a Department of Justice lawyer while jogging in NC.  [Washington Post]

—A successful British lawyer drown herself shortly after having her third child.  [Times Online]

—A Southwestern Law School professor’s daughter was abducted and killed.  [Los Angeles Times | The National Law Journal]

• Joel Tenenbaum’s got the songs (illegally), and Harvard Law professor Charles Nesson’s got the dance.  Nesson is defending Tenenbaum in a music piracy case and made a splash with his tap-and-jazz opening statement.  []

Why do you want to go to law school? Don’t be a lawyer!  []

• A Florida judge has ruled that the will of author Jack Kerouac’s mother, Gabrielle Kerouac, which left Jack’s estate to his third wife upon Gabrielle’s death, was a forgery.  [Associated Press]

• Twitter news like crazy today:

1.  Let’s save the best for first: New Twitter homepage will woo you into loving it—and following us

2.  White House staffers are microblog-less because (thank God for national security!) the hub of American government has a decent enough firewall to protect some information from leaking. 

3.  Finally, Twitter continues it’s path toward total courtroom domination.  An apartment tenant Tweetbitched about mold in her apartment, and her slumlord is suing her for libel.  [Chicago Tribune]

• Attorney Joseph W. Cotchett was the first to land an interview with jailed Ponzinator Bernie Madoff.  Cotchett represents victims of BM’s massive fraud and sat down with inmate #61727-054 for a four-hour man-to-man conversation in which time Madoff frankly spilled the deets on how he pulled it all off.  He says that lately he’s been doing a lot of reading and exercising.  And before it’s ban in North Carolina, he should even consider where he can always be “just a stamp away.” [WSJ Law Blog]

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  • Midwest lawyer

    Great, interesting and sad