Bitter News, 7-8-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom—close to the meat and straight to the bone, like a sexy butcher:

DLA Piper has confirmed today that it laid off 121 people today—the very day an article runs in London’s Times touting the success of co-chief executive, (yes, the knighted) Sir Nigel Knowles, for turning DLA Piper into “the world’s biggest law firm by revenue.” Perhaps a bad day to read a quote like: “Defying the turmoil in the legal market, it has overtaken its blue-chip Wall Street and City rivals by increasing full-year fee income by 6 per cent to $2.26 billion, according to figures published today.” Good luck to the newly minted unemployed.  [Times Online]

• Manhattan’s Judge Denny Chin is laying the smack down left and right.  The Bernie Madoff sentencer told wife Ruth this week to surrender her passport (so much for the Seychelles) even though evidence lacks that she was in on her hubby’s bilking scheme. Meanwhile, the honorable Chin also called Rita Cosby’s book “preposterous” in a libel suit against her tell-all book that claims “Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith watched a video of her boyfriend having sex with lawyer Howard K. Stern.” Lesson here: Even if someone’s reputation is “in tatters,” it doesn’t mean you can “call him a homosexual.” [New York Daily News]

• “New York City will pay $10,001 to settle a federal lawsuit on behalf of a Queens man who was ejected from the old Yankee Stadium last August after trying to use the bathroom during the playing of God Bless America.” Yankees deny any restriction exists.  Home of the brave.  [CityRoom Blog @ NY Times]

• Back in the west coast courts, fugitive director Roman Polanski is appealing a Los Angeles judge’s refusal to throw out his sex case from when he pled guilty in 1977 to getting it on with a 13-year-old girl.  [AP via]

• Going from the .gov to the .edu, controversial former Bush Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez takes a faculty post at Texas Tech.  [My Fox Lubbock]

• Apparently law firm ladies are so busy taking their fellow female subordinates out at the knees and suppressing their sexier competition that they forget to self-promote themselves and end up, well, old, bitter and not in control.  Too bad that “Dorothy” from the Wizard of Oz makes a better leader sometimes.  Did you hear that?  Dorothy the team builder.  From 1939. [The Am Law Daily]

• Cooley = -3 / Dewey & LeBoeuf = +3 / A simple M&A transaction.  [DealBook at NY Times]

• Michael Jackson’s death practically crashed the internet when he died, and not promoting your law firm online could cause your firm to crash and die?  A bit of (massive) stretch to relate the two points.  []

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  • Bravo

    If I needed a specialized lawyer would not seek a firm advertising on the internet.  I would use the internet for references or research after I checked the yellow pages.