Bitter News, 8-14-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as disappointing as a chance to buy a five-legged puppy:

• What makes snarky tabloids actually care about legal training?  When a B-list actor enrolls in a third-tier law school.  Jerry O’Connell, who’s most famous for being “Cush” and knocking up Ex-Mrs. Jesse Katsopolis, is now a student at Southwestern Law School in Los Angeles. (In fact, it’s the alma mater of our very own Mr. 162.) Apparently Jerry likes the vibe there.  And getting a JD won out over his alternate plan: Playing video games all day.  Luckily this firestorm of coverage has generated a forum for some long-overdue conversation: Do these stars look hotter with glasses? [E! | People | US Weekly | Access Hollywood]

• Speaking of immature law school students—remember Kate McLaughlin?  She’s the 19-year-old that’s going to be a 1L at Northwestern on August 31.  (Mock trial, 15-year-olds? Pish posh, sez Kate.) Since the original story on Tuesday, people have been debating (WSJ Law Blog and NYT Choice Blog, to name two) about whether she’s too young to handle the rigors of a top-notch legal program.  But she doesn’t really seem to care what everyone thinks.  Kate responds: “I don’t consider my academic situation to be a defining point of my life and discussing the particulars of my personal life with complete strangers is not something I especially want to do.” So take that.  And the good news?  She can probably be pigeonholed into a specialization by 22.  That’s pretty sweet.  [OC Register]

• An elite crew of space lawyers?  Milbank Tweed’s Joanne Wheeler works on galactic space law.  Which is awesome!  And nebulous.  (Har, har, har.) [Times Online]

• Like Obama, even we at Bitter Lawyer know that you have to respect the ‘Nox.  Rumor has it that newly installed SCOTUS justice Sonia Sotomayor felt she was too good to stop and check in at the front desk of her local Equinox Fitness Club, which resulted in her membership being canceled.  No pain (of checking in), no gain (of access).  [New York Magazine via Gawker]

• A self-proclaimed “Top 15” grudge match.  Fordham Law School, “one of the 15 most-selective U.S. law schools,” (even though U.S. News ranks it 30th) banned international law firm Reed Smith, “one of the 15 largest law firms in the world,” from recruiting on their campus for five years because of their last-minute cancelling of on-campus interviews after the schedule was released.  So Reed Smith will just have to find places to not hire lawyers elsewhere.  [Bloomberg]

• “A man [Howard O. Kieffer] accused of impersonating a lawyer in at least 10 states has been sentenced to more than four years in prison and ordered to repay more than $150,000 to clients around the country.” And that’s just the tip of it.  [Associated Press]

Esquire magazine has series of rules they publish, and they go a little something like this:  “Rule No. 581: A man’s dog should be no smaller than his briefcase.” Or “Rule No. 1,033: If your lawyer’s e-mail address ends in,, or, find a new lawyer.” A little tweet of that made some consider what truth lies in the web-based email rule.  And if it’s not cool to drop a “” in law, should it be for acceptable for heads of state?  Apparently so.  “A judge ruled yesterday that the Alaska governor’s office can use private e-mail accounts to conduct state business, as former governor Sarah Palin sometimes did.” [The Boston Globe]

• Judges behaving badly.  First an expletive-riddled voicemail left by one judge in Nebraska.  And then another judge in Maryland, and we’re speaking literally here, admitted to letting the air out of the tire of a courthouse worker because she parked in his spot. [The Washington Post]

• You’re so gay.  Per se.  And I can say that.  But let’s not discuss Anna Nicole Smith’s kept men’s sex life please.  It’s Friday.  [New York Law Journal]

• It’s no secret that the terms “highly visible” and “highly respected” are inversely proportional as it relates to lawyers. Generally advertising is in bad taste for law practices.  So how do you toe the line?  [The Connecticut Law Tribune]

• Partners in law.  Partners in love.  Partners in true Bad Girls Club style.  Two lawyers and a paralegal are entangled in a love triangle even bigger than their town of Vinton, VA.  You see, what happened was bankruptcy lawyer Ann Marie Miller went over to her former law partner and lover, Jeff Kessler’s, house—probably for some tea, intellectually stimulating conversation and hot lawyer-lawyer sex.  But when she got there, she was allegedly attacked by the evil paralegal, Jennifer Kelley, who is Kessler’s wife.  It’s like a telenovela.  With less sexy people.  []

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