Bitter News, 8-27-09

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom harsher than Anna Wintour calling you a sad-looking lawyer:

• A law student spent a week in a Chicago jail over a case of mistaken identity—and he’s looking at the injustice as a learning experience.  He really had a chance to let the inmate perspective soak in, and his court-appointed attorney really sucked it.  So he’s going to be taking that compassion ahead with him in his career.  Likely into corporate law where he won’t have to deal with that crap.  []

• How do you add to the impressive job-title trifecta of attorney, prosecutor, judge?  For George Richard Fox (AKA Dick Fox) it’s by adding the all-too-expected “indicted for possessing child porn.” [KMOX]

• Lawyers are being attacked by those pesky words all too often these days: Social networking.  In a profession slow to embrace the powers of Twitter (apparently there are powers), technophile lawyers are gloating, thinking they have an advantage.  But you have to be careful because your online presence can annoy the hell out of people really quickly.  Based on CNN’s “The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers” comes five simple ways to be e-connected as a law student without making peers, lawyers, recruiters (and the taxman?) wretch.  [The Shark]

• The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals gave a 70-page opinion with a 9-2 ruling that federal investigators’ seizure of drug-test results of more than 90 major league baseball players was illegal.  BigLaw can be thanked for the win, but the court of public opinion is hardly feeling sorry for A-Rod, Sammy, Manny and Big Papi.  [Associated Press]

• “Tim Donaghy, the ex-NBA referee who served time in a federal prison camp for betting on basketball games, got called for a traveling violation Monday – and it cost him a trip to the county prison.” His wife thinks the arrest is crap and wants her divorced finalized.  Plus, he apparently had he knee beat on by the NY mob in prison.  Feeling un-jealous yet?.  []

• The legal legacy of Ted Kennedy: His life counted in billables.  [The National Law Journal]

• “A judge on Thursday approved Michael Vick’s plan to repay creditors who are owed $20 million and emerge from bankruptcy on the same day he was scheduled to return to the playing field with the Philadelphia Eagles.” So basically creditors are now huge Eagles fans.  [Associated Press]

• With half of BigLaw jobs already gone for next year and the economy-induced layoffs still trickling in, attorneys have been looking at more lowly career alternatives to stay in the law—mainly paralegal positions.  But wait!  What about a full demotion to law librarian?  Here’s a word on that: “It is totally inappropriate to have an attorney in a library … because most attorneys do not have the necessary library science skills and degree to work in a law library.” Yeah, but it’s a job—even if the working conditions are possibly deadly.  And library science is a one-credit-hour GPA-padding course at most colleges.  I think you could handle it.  However—there’s unexpected competition: Filipino people.  They’re being told how hip and sexy it is to do library things, and now they may be out for those jobs in droves. “Today’s new breed of librarians have broken free from those dank and dusty school libraries, the century-old stereotypes, and have evolved into dynamic, progressive and most-sought after career people employed by large corporations, IT companies, hospitals and law firms.” Wonder what these guys think?  And for God’s sake, I hope they’re hip. [Manila Bulliten]

• Regardless of culture, head scarves are so fashionable this season and should never be removed til spring.  [USA Today]

• A video follow up on Monday’s article about how Pfizer leading the corporate desertion of the billable hour.  Hear the philosophy on why they’re only paying flat fees and forming a “legal alliance” straight from the pharma-horse’s mouth.  [Wall Street Journal]

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  • Bravo

    Great stuff especially the video

  • Anonymous

    What “non-economic” rewards can she offer me that will add to value?  That’s code for sex, right?

  • Anonymous

    She says the concept of measuring “time” in “increments” is over.  How the hell else do you measure time?

  • Alan

    Haha—good ones, Anonymous.