Bitter News, 8-28-09

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom weirder than Bacon Busters, Garden & Gun, and Sheep!:

• This judge is so busted. And he has ruled that he’s pretty damn desperate.  “Judge Donald W. Jackson, 59, offered to get the young woman ‘a different attorney to get her case dismissed if she would be interested in the defendant and enter into a relationship with him that was more than a one-night stand.’ If convicted, the 17-year judge could face up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine.” Which is why God gave us mail-order brides.  [Houston Chronicle]

• Speaking of judges, they’re RICH!  Sotomayor may not be, but the penis state (without nuts) has some high-end courtroom masters. Palm Beach Circuit Judge Elizabeth Maass narrowly took the prize with a reported net worth of $7.2 million. On her heals, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge John Schlesinger and his “telegenic” looks are worth $7.18 million.  Though not all are created equal.  One judge in South Florida, Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Leon Firtel, listed a negative net worth—$33,002 in the red.  [Daily Business Review via]

• Any old Skadden associate can write a book.  But there are far fewer to whom you might shout “Free Bird!” and be taken seriously. Stacey Kray is an associate at Skadden in San Francisco who’s also a bluesy, crooning singer/songwriter.  Kray is the winner (and sole entrant) of The American Lawyer’s challenge to write a firm “love anthem.” She submitted “Skadden You Gladden My Heart,” so we’re submitting her as the coolest thing (in an ironic way) to happen to law this week.  You may not agree, so as our boy Ashby says, “If you gotta go with the snark, we ain’t gonna stop you.” [The American Lawyer]

• “Former Harvard Law School Dean Elena Kagan, confirmed as Solicitor General by the Senate in March,” will make the final decision whether to ask the Supreme Court to review the case of federal agents who seized drug test results of major league baseball players.  [USA Today]

• A 13-year-old girl wants to sail Dutch around the world, but a judge in her home country won’t let her.  “A Dutch court ordered authorities to take temporary guardianship of a 13-year-old girl on Friday, delaying her plan to sail solo around the world until psychologists can assess her capacity to undertake such a risky voyage.” [Chicago Tribune]

• The aftershocks still continue to quake in response to The New York Timesmost-depressing article about the bone-dry job market for law school grads.  Everyone online can’t help but comment—from The Atlantic to The Atlantic to The Atlantic.  Ann Althouse held out as long as she could, but she finally weighs in on how there is no implicit agreement that paying big money for a JD earns you BigLaw job.  [Althouse]

• Fortunate enough to actually have a BigLaw associate gig?  Be especially careful when you’re outside the office.  And what ever you do, don’t wear sports bras, take Jujitsu classes, drink, shop, talk or breath on the weekends.  Unless you want to get fired.  [The Snark via]

• Now for a segment with an uninteresting title called “Interesting Lawsuits”:

—Law student called bullshit on her grades and won a 4-year battle to have her marks upgraded.  [Times]

—Jeremy Piven made producers’ mercury rise when he won his seafood suit. [Artsbeat]

—Lisa Marie Presley is being sued by her former nanny over “self-entitlement” issues.  [KTLA]

—School board settled with lawyers kid who had crossed burned into his arm by a teacher. [10tv]

—ABA sues the FTC over their inclusion of lawyers in its definition of creditors. [ABA Journal]

• Got legal fees?  The U.S. will grab the tab:

—“CIA Director Leon Panetta decided Thursday that the agency will ensure legal representation for case officers who become caught up in investigations of alleged interrogation abuses of detainees at overseas locations.” [The Washington Post]

—“The Justice Department has agreed to pay for a lawyer to help a former State Department official fight Italian charges that she participated in the alleged CIA kidnapping of a suspected terrorist in 2003.” [Associated Press]

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  • Bravo

    Bravo for you Leon.  You are supporting your colleagues.