Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:
• When not rocking and rolling all night, Gene Simmons has found time to play an ambulance-chasing lawyer in the new movie Extract from Beavis and Butthead creator Mike Judge, premiering this weekend. And, for the record, Simmons loves his own lawyer, but he hates yours. [New York Post]
• Pills: The new stimulus package for lawyers. [The New York Times]
• Unemployment is at a 26-year-high of 9.7%. How ‘bout them pills? [Wall Street Journal]
• C-SPAN is producing a series clumsily titled The Supreme Court: Home to America’s Highest Court. Court. Court. Court. It broadcasts October 4-October 12, and it highlights how “The Nine” are apparently very slow-warming to change. And by “slow-warming,” I mean they seem like a bunch of stogy old men who can’t stand it when the furniture moves around a little a new member joins their forces. Ten minutes to Wapner. [The Washington Post]
News continued below video.
• The one thing the Supremes don’t mind changing around? Their clerks. Kissing the ring of a justice—or any judge for that matter—is the most respected gig for a new lawyer, so of course there are now rankings for which law school graduate the most people who get picked to serve time behind the robes. Congrats, Yale. We’re all really fucking blown away you won. [U.S. News & World Report]
• Earlier this year, a court ruled against Native Americans and supported the Washington Redskin name. In reciprocity, the team supports the court system by “skining” their fans. “Over the past 5 years the Redskins have sued 137 season ticketholders of skyboxes and premium seats who asked to be released from multiyear contracts.” [Philly.com]
• Badly drawn Holden Caulfield may still have a shot at American markets. A three-judge appeals panel is questioning whether a lower-court judge really had all the facts before banning the unauthorized sequel to J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, even though one judge reviewed Fredrik Colting’s 60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye as a “rather dismal piece of work.” [Associated Press]
• Okay—get a load of this: “Fire Chief Don Payne didn’t hesitate to tell the judge what he thought of the police and their speed traps. The response from cops? They shot him. Right there in court.” One guess where it happened? Yep, Arkansas. [Associated Press via Yahoo!]
• It’s a total sausage fest this year at law schools. [Montana Kaimin]
• The law school at University of California, Berkeley is well aware of how many tree-hugging, rights-fighting lawyers they send out into the world. So, starting in January, the loan assistance program will provide “up to 10 years of unlimited support for repaying law school student loan debt, and some undergraduate debt, for alumni who earn less than $65,000 per year working for non-profit public interest groups or government agencies.” [The Shark]
• Kentucky beats Cuba! And beating Fidel Castro in court comes with a purse of $27.5 million. [Kentucky.com]
• Bitter Wanted: We’re searching for a select number of Bitter Lawyer representatives on law school campuses. We’re hoping to find a few cool 2Ls or 3Ls at prominent law schools across the country who are fans of the site and would like to help out. Fun gig with not a ton of responsibility.
Wishes of a bitter Labor Day weekend to you all.