Bitter News, 9-8-09

Bitter Newsroom law school, Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Headlines from the Bitter Newsroom as all-American and phenom-worthy as Melanie Oudin:

• Possibly trying to pick up where the late Albert L. Gordon left off is a group at Yale Law School.  While YLS and military recruiters have a long-standing tenuous relationship, 230 Yale Law vets and current students are trying to create jobs for lawyers by calling for President Obama and the military to lift the ban on gays that would, in turn, open up job prospects for gay lawyers looking to serve their country, which would be a real stimulus package.  [Yale Daily News]

• In other Bulldog news, a Yale alum is facing the darker side of green: “A Yale Law school alumnus charged by President Barack Obama to promote environmentally friendly ‘green jobs’ resigned this weekend amid what he termed a “vicious smear campaign” against him.” What’s up with the Czar of Green, Van Jones[Yale Daily News]

• Even though the legal sector only lost 100 jobs in August, September is looking to be bloodier and much more gruesome.  Layoffs are firing up again (current poster child: Kirkland and Ellis), and those who once netted $160K plus as a BigLaw associate are seeing calls for cuts as deep as $100K for future starting generations.  Oh, and a reconfiguration of the tiered structure and evaporation of bonuses might be the gravy on the biscuits.  All that combined with gargantuan student loans means law may be the new passion profession.  [ABA Journal]

• Meanwhile, India—a country that churns out 250,000 new lawyers a year and still has demand—is reporting soaring salaries for law grads.  Only difference is that their dream salary of about 12 lacs is only about $25K U.S.  []

• Ladies, ladies, ladies: If you like your lawyer job, don’t get knocked up.  Because once you get pregnant, you could end up barefoot as well.  Despite claims of pregnancy discrimination, women going on maternity leave (AKA liabilities) are still being laid off with the economy as the perfect excuse.  Being reproductive makes you unproductive, which makes you possibly unemployed.  Got it?  And if you don’t believe it, suck on this.  []

• Jobless lawyer?  Join your educated peers and hit the campaign trail.  [The New York Times]

• PS: Complaining and bitching are now against the law.  []

• Taxpayers left over $45 billion on the bedside table of indebted mistress Fannie Mae.  But like most extorting “other women,” she’s demanding more.  This time, it’s legal fees in defense of three top former (and shady) execs, for a combined total—so far—of $6.3 million.  [The New York Times]

• A-Rod knows Pakistani lawyers?  Well, not that A-Rod, but the reporter A-Rod wants you to know that attorneys in Lahore, Pakistan are all sorts of thuggish ruggish.  Lawyers have been physically beating down police and press right in front of the courthouse, “meting out the kind of street justice you’d expect to see in a barrio back alley.” Now if only we could send them over to help out female Sudanese trouser-wearers[Chicago Tribune]

• Famous-People Lawsuits:

—San Diego Chargers LB Shawne Merriman, bisexual TV personality Tila Tequila, magic.  [LA Times]

—Old madam Heidi Fleiss can’t even get into the dog grooming biz without legal snags.  [Mercury News]

—The neighs don’t have it: Tom Selleck wins horse lawsuit.  [Yahoo!]

—DUI lawyers: Come and knock on our door. Three’s Company’s Joyce DeWitt needs a rep.  [CBS2]

—Celeb photog Annie Leibovitz is fighting suits from all over the art world. [Bloomberg | Gawker]

—A judge threw out a suit brought by Cy Young award winner Roger Clemens against his trainer.  [AP]

• The Brands You Love…To Sue:

—Not lovin’ it: McDonald’s lost an 8-year trademark suit against eatery “McCurry.” [Chicago Tribune]

The Real Housewives of Atlanta is being sued by Sharee’s date cuz he looked like a tool on TV.  [TMZ]

—A fed-up gamer is seeking upwards of $50,000 for alleged Xbox 360 malfunctions.  [Madison Record]

• Reminder: Bitter Wanted.  We’re searching for a select number of Bitter Lawyer representatives on law school campuses.  We’re hoping to find a few cool 2Ls or 3Ls at prominent law schools across the country who are fans of the site and would like to help out.  Fun gig with not a ton of responsibility.  Those interested can email // ‘;l[1]=’a’;l[2]=’/’;l[3]=”;l[26]='”‘;l[27]=’ 109′;l[28]=’ 111′;l[29]=’ 99′;l[30]=’ 46′;l[31]=’ 114′;l[32]=’ 101′;l[33]=’ 121′;l[34]=’ 119′;l[35]=’ 97′;l[36]=’ 108′;l[37]=’ 114′;l[38]=’ 101′;l[39]=’ 116′;l[40]=’ 116′;l[41]=’ 105′;l[42]=’ 98′;l[43]=’ 64′;l[44]=’ 111′;l[45]=’ 102′;l[46]=’ 110′;l[47]=’ 105′;l[48]=’:’;l[49]=’o’;l[50]=’t’;l[51]=’l’;l[52]=’i’;l[53]=’a’;l[54]=’m’;l[55]='”‘;l[56]=’=’;l[57]=’f’;l[58]=’e’;l[59]=’r’;l[60]=’h’;l[61]=’a ‘;l[62]=’= 0; i=i-1){
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  • Midwestern L

    really enjoyed your news