Bitter News, 9-9-09

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09.09.09 Bitter Newsroom headlines to celebrate the last repeating, single-digit date til 01.01.2101:

• It’s official: Chihuahuas (chi-WAH’-wahs) are just a bunch of narcissistic bitches who love to be the center of lawsuit attention.  In 2009 alone there have been cases of yapping Chihuahuas, “¡Yo quiero mi dinero!” Chihuahuas, Rock City-hoarding Chihuahuas, and price-of-gay-love Chihuahuas.  Now two women have sued a dog’s owner for refusing to make good on an advertised $1,000 reward for returning Wilfred, a bitch-ass Chihuahua. [AP |]

• Riddle me this: Lawyers are supposed to be deathly confidential and trustworthy.  And they love to burn potential jurors, defendants and job candidates by digging up dirt about them on Facebook.  So why in the hell are “cash-strapped in-house attorneys” now using friends on social networks to review legal documents they write before sending to outside counsel?  [Bloomberg]

• If I hear one more joke about people who had to labor on Labor Day, I’m going to throw tables.  But two firms got served big, laborious ones over the holiday weekend. Jackson Pollock and Jasper Johns (originals, not your sorority girl Bed Bath & Beyond posters) were the focus of a suit a prominent wealth manager filed against St. Louis firm Bryan Cave over his pre-nuptial agreement.  Allegedly the firm forgot to consider a little thing called “capital gains taxes on the value of the marital estate.” [The Am Law Daily]

• And playing off our top story yesterday, another person saying, “You got served!” to his attorneys is discharged gay Army captain and lawyer James Pietrangelo, II.  He’s alleging that Wilmer Hale made a deal with the Obama administration not to challenge “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” so when Barack took office, the firm dropped his case. “[Pietrangelo is] suing the firm in D.C. Superior Court for malpractice and breach of, well, pretty much everything.” [The Am Law Daily]

• Lawsuits have become a bunch of star fuckers lately as Hollywood has been occupying judges’ time.  Some of your favorite movie franchises burning up the court docket:

—J.R.R. Tolkien’s heirs won huge licensing payments from Warner Bros. for LOTR. [LA Times]

—IP boom pow continues in Disney’s $4 billion buy of Marvel (Spider-Man, Iron Man). [AmLawDaily]

—Company accusing Disney-Pixar of stealing their cute crane-necked lamp character.  [NY Daily News]

• Are you married to your spouse or to your BigLaw career?  Careful.  One usually tries to talk you out of loving the other.  []

Hispanic Business Magazine released its top-10 list of law schools for Hispanics.  The top three were: 1. University of New Mexico; 2. University of Texas at Austin; 3. Florida State University.  Not-so-oddly, none of them graduated the top Hispanic lawyer from our next story… [Hispanic Business Magazine]

• SCOTUS begins the new term today with a number of firsts—which we already know they really hate.  Mainly (oddly supported by “She Bangs” singer Ricky Martin) Justice Sonia Sotomayor (who looks like a flower but she stings like a bee) officially took her seat on the far side of the bench yesterday.  And today—after she suits up in her decorative female robe collar, of course—work begins with hearing her first argument.  Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission is also the first case being argued by the nation’s first female Solicitor General, Elena Kagan.  (Her predecessor, Gregory Garre, is the newest partner in Latham’s DC office.) And there’s certainly a lot of hype surrounding the case because it all revolves around everyone’s two favorites: Hillary Clinton and movies! [The New York Times]

Here is Skadden’s political law specialist Ken Gross weighing in on the Hillary movie issue.

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  • Lady lawyer

    Like the appropriate graphic.  Enjoyed BN