Bitter News, Week of August 22, 2011

Here are your headlines from the Bitter Newsroom, where we have time on our hands!

The Offices of Law & School, LLP: A pair of law professors have proposed that law schools expand existing clinics create their own law firms to help train new graduates. Comparing the system to a judicial clerkship or medical residency, the plan envisions the firms as being more involved than existing clinics, overseen by senior attorneys, and potential revenue generators. We look forward to seeing what happens in law school saturated markets such as Boston, NYC and the LA area where the public will gravitate towards the top schools and the lower tier schools will need to come up with ways to attract clients (much like real practice!).

Where Do Partners Come From? If you answered “vaginas”, congratulations: you’re probably an engineer. Now for those of you curious as to what law schools produce the highest number of partners at the 100 largest law firms, see this study by a professor at Loyola Law School (U.S. News #54, Partner ranking #25). Recommended reading, especially for those deciding on law school.

The First Amendment Right to Racy Slumber Parties: A group of high school girls in Indiana decided to have a slumber party; suggestive photos involving lollipops were taken; said photos were posted to Facebook and MySpace; said online images found their way to the school administration; said administration suspended the students from participating in school sports. In the resulting case, a federal court in Indiana ruled that the school violated the students First Amendment rights to post slutty pictures. In terms of quotability, it’s hard to fault the first line of the decision: “Not much good takes place at slumber parties for high school kids, and this case proves the point.”

Should I Wait For the iLaw? Forget Motorola, Google is now in the online law business with its investment in Rocket Lawyer. In addition to providing online legal forms, Rocket Lawyer claims to have real attorneys review your documents. We look forward to the inevitable creation of to rid the world of more useless attorneys.

Is This the Future? Google Ventures isn’t putting all its legal investments in one basket, of course, and is investing in LawPivot, a legal crowdsourcing site that’s part of the rise in non-traditional, online legal services. It happened to music, it happened to books, and if your product doesn’t need physical presense, it can happen to you.

He Clearly Did Not Study Dueling Etiquette: A Florida defense attorney stands accused of challenging his girlfriend to a naked sword duel. While the term “naked sword duel” might be a euphemism in some circles, the attorney in this case took the idea a bit too literally in an argument over whether he drank excessively. Incidentally, challenging your girlfriend to an actual naked sword fight might be a pretty clear indication that you are drinking excessively.

Cat Ladies are Clients Too: A recent write-up on how to place pets into estate plans brings to mind famous instances of wealthy pets and thereby proves the legal maxim that one man’s food is another man’s beneficiary (it sounds cooler in Latin).

A Helpful Reminder from Our Friends in Employment Law: Sexual harassment, illegal; sexual favoritism, legal (mostly). This, along with “can [my friend] be fired for that?” count as the two most common employment questions asked of non-employment lawyers by lay people.  Meanwhile, here are the five “worst practices” to guarantee lawsuits.

La. Law: The fine, civil law loving folk of Louisiana added 258 new laws this month. Among the necessary changes, you can now shoot a beaver with a silencer.

Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife: Thomas Cooley is opening a campus in Tampa Bay! We wish these future Gulf Coast law graduates the best in their own eventual class action lawsuit against the school.

  • P-Nut

    The “Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife” joke might be funny …if that incident happened in Tampa Bay. …Or even in Florida. Or, if that part of Florida were the South.

    I guess what I’m trying to say, is stop letting Rittberg write your jokes.

    • Bitter Newsroom

      Try not to think so hard, you’re hurting yourself and those around you.

  • Alan T.

    Maybe you should get to know your meme, P-Nut.