Caption This! April 18-24

Bitter Staff Comics, Lawyer 26 Comments

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this judge’s discovery.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, April 25th.

Editors’ Pick (April 11-17):

Snowman: “Mock Trial practice at Cooley.”

(First Runner-Up) Anonymous: “These comments bite the big one. I suggest that there be no ‘winner’ for these comments.” (And Anonymous is right, they all pretty well bit.)

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  • Alma Federer

    I’ve GOT to get this zipper on this robe fixed!  My fellow learned jurists don’t appreciate sitting next to me when I smell like a public urinal.

  • ajc

    Hiding a hooker to blow me while I argued was the best idea ever!

  • Jonnie


  • Finch

    Looks like I owe Scalia twenty bucks. Turns out she couldn’t do it without leaving a stain.

  • Snowman

    Hazing the new justice begins win the old Viagra in the water trick…

  • Butch Roberts

    “I’ll show them long arm jurisdiction!”

  • Butch Roberts

    “I am a superstar.”

  • Magic Circle Jerk

    amazing how these robes tent up!

  • Snowman

    Hazing the new justice begins with the old Viagra in the water trick…

    (Typo in the other one – “with” not “win”)

  • Craig

    Bitter Lawyer can “suck it” if they didn’t like my caption entry last week!!!

  • Anonymous

    Oy!  How am I going to explain to the Chief Judge another one of these “strategically placed” stains?

  • Anonymous

    Get a life, Craig!

  • Tripp

    Oral arguments at the Supreme Court take a brief break while the respondent attorney demonstrates the proper technique for the Western Grip Hand Job.

  • Craig

    Anon, sorry if I was not clear, but my caption was what the guy in the picture is thinking. I could care less if Bitter Lawyer thinks my captions are funny. Get a sense of humor buddy.

  • Anonymous

    Ah, so THIS is what they mean when they refer to “SCOTUS SCROTUM!”

  • Anonymous

    I thought Craig’s was funny. Why would anyone take that personally?

  • Andrew

    Counsel, your oral argument is very effective.

  • Anonymous

    Craig, we are going to send c_broski after you unless you lighten up!  You may not be a dickwad, but you sure are acting like one.

  • LJ

    I am an attorney and I came across this website.  I was so shocked and disgusted to find what feels more like a frat house forum and chauvinistic display of immaturity than an actual venue for professionals to have meaningful discussions about the legal profession.  I am ashamed that you would even be colleagues of mine.  This website is an embarrassment.

  • Barrister

    Lighten up. Seriously, table the righteous indignation and join in the fun. Attorneys as a whole get a bad name from people like you. The stereotype of the humorless, emotionless, drone associate is perpetuated whenever a layperson interacts with an attorney such as yourself. Either post a funny comment or go back to document review. Dickhead.

  • The Great Decider

    To all who are offended by (sometimes very lame)attempts at humor: STOP WHINING! Your plattitudes are lame.

  • Anonymous

    I read “LJ“‘s comment and am shocked and embarrassed.

    That said, a great caption for the picture might be “The justice astounds his bench brethren onlookers with a brazen display of how a law clerk should really satisfy a judge—beneath his robes!”


    Take THAT LJ!!

  • Anonymous

    LJ–Lazy Jerk?  Loudmouth Jeebus?  Go easy, man, you need a serious BJ for the nerves.  Get a friggin’ life!  How long have been you out of TTT law school?

  • Anonymous

    Wow! I had no idea that case was so stimulating!  Now I’m going to have to figure out how to get this stain out of this robe.

  • Alexis

    Hmm–I wonder if Junior Justice gets a vote?

  • Anonymous

    If only, US News had a rankings for this…