Skin People

Caption This! December 23, 2011

Bitter Staff Contests, Lawyer 13 Comments

What in the stock photo is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wisdom to the test and post a comment below or on Facebook with a witty, hilarious, or brilliant caption. Provide your own creative caption or try to guess the description provided by Shutterstock (sure you can cheat by going to Shutterstock, but that’s a Rule 4.1 violation.)

The editors’ pick will be announced next week.


Last Week’s Winner

Steve submitted last week’s Caption This! winning entry with:

“No, Sir, this flight is not going to Utah.”

Thanks for all the submissions, and keep them coming.

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  • Rod Johnson


  • ajc

    “Hey, your penis does look like the managing partner from this angle!”

  • Brad

    Yeesssss!!!!!! Kicked the Cravath scale’s ass!

  • Guano Dubango

    Hmmm……While it could be a man in there, or at worst, a barker, but since I cannot see past the two bazooms, I will just get a paper bag and go for it!

  • FreddieKrueger

    “and the next time you sexually harass me, the check you write will have a couple more zeros in it”

  • Quadoz

    Woman: “HI! I’m LF10!”
    Man: “And..”
    Woman: “I’m the hottest thing you’ll find in a law firm!”
    Man: “Should have gone to med school…”

    • Guano Dubango

      I wholeheartedly concur with this. Why is it that most women with law degrees who are portly can get away thinking they are equivalent to rock stars simply by virtue of their JD degrees? In my country, these type of women are referred to as water buffaloes and are not viewed as sexually attractive.

  • Harry Vuittone


    I went to a great law school, made law review, passed the bar, got a job in a top NYC law firm, and spent $2,000 on my professional wardrobe , and the best that the law firm has to offer is this? OMFG!

    Talk about the F***ing grinch who stole friggin’ Christmas! I demand a do-over!

    • Guano Dubango

      It is strange that this man can be led around by this woman, just because of her feminine charms, but read on to #7 below (who ismuch like me and my family back in Accra):

      The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life:

      (1) The Doctor – who tells her to “take off all her clothes. ” (2) The Dentist – who tells her to “open wide. ” (3) The Milkman – who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back? (4) ” The Hairdresser – who asks her “do you want it teased or blown? ” (5) The Interior Designer – who tells her “once it’s inside, you’ll LOVE it! ” (6) The Banker – who insists to her “if you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest! ” and (7) The Primal Hunter – who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her “Keep quiet and lie still! ”

      No one wants a woman who is too aggressive. I say it is best for a woman to follow your man’s direction.

  • Ellen

    FOOEY on Guana!

    I refuse to be #7 for men in bed. We are the ONE’s with the power, and WE should NOT let men have sex with us if we Can NOT take control of things. After all, we do NOT want to get PREGENENT. FOOEY on that! FOOEY on Guana!

  • Magic Circle Jerk

    1) Job at v10 firm as straight window dressing after full URM scholarship at top-tier law school? check
    2) No requirement to actually show up or dress for work? check
    3) White jewish guy to do all my work? check
    4) Muffin Top? Oh yeah!
    5) Enough money for fake fun bags? OFS!

  • Vick Vaughn

    Hey, I oughta be able to bag a better babe than this porker. I don’t care how blue my cohones may get. I am not porking this beeotch.

  • Comrade Misfit

    “If I had a decent knife, I could so stab that bastard in the neck.”