Caption This! May 2-8

Bitter Staff Comics, Lawyer 24 Comments

What in the Bitter Lawyer is going on in this picture?

Put your lawyerly wit to the test and post a comment with a hilarious caption about this loaded witness stand situation.  And keep it clean.  (Ish.) The editors’ favorite entry will be announced next Saturday, May 9th.

Editors’ Pick (April 25-May 1):

Butch Roberts: “And when you sign here, you will have title to the trailer, the 1974 AMC Gremlin, a slightly used penis pump, the Detroit Lions, and the URL”

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  • Can I win a job through this site?

    “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

  • Ben

    why didnt you try this….. it always works in cartoons

  • Bill Dugan

    The rapist stuck thatt????….where????  And the D.A. is claiming it was consensual??????  Your honor, I rest my case.

  • Snowman

    Damn.  You were right, mine is smaller…

  • RSL

    an expert witness trying to explain the defense’s theory that yosemite sam was killed when the defendant put his finers in the end of the gun causing it to backfire.  looks like old bugs is getting the chair folks.

  • Butch Roberts

    And your testimony today is the senior partners determined that this Associate Elimination Device would realize significant cost savings for the firm by eliminating the need to provide COBRA and severance pay?

  • Butch Roberts

    Q And once you brandished the weapon, did your husband begin to initiate foreplay?

    A No.

    Q And what happened next?

    A He rolled over to his side of the bed, went to the study, and turned on Cinemax.

    Q And what did you do next?

    A I shot him.

    Q And fore the sake of all of the men in this court room and on the jury, would you please tell us what is theory call, “foreplay”?

  • m

    pull my finger.

  • Anonymous

    Lady, are you saying that if I stick my finger in THIS hole, I could give YOU pleasure?  This is news to me….Are you sure you have the right hole, lady?

  • Mr. Roger’s Shoe

    Judge” “Duck Season!!”


  • Matt

    And then the Litigator with a God Complex, in an effort to recreate the Sistine Chapel, said, “Let us find derivative liability in the defendant, after the closing of evidence.” And the Litigator looked at the baffled witness, and saw that it was good.

  • BL1Y

    If I stick my finger in here, will you put your fingers in my pants?

  • SD

    Lady on stand (in church lady voice): “Oh … yes … right there … don’t stop.” – Suit: “Really, so this is working for you?”

  • Tripp

    Now, Mrs. Fudd, would you say the rabbit placed his finger like this prior to your husband’s “accident?”

  • Magic Circle Jerk

    Now that you have the rubber gloves on, please demonstrate for the court exactly where the victim told you to go shove this gun.

  • Anonymous

    Go ahead, pull my finger.

  • Anonymous

    You mean THIS is how John Travolta stopped the bullet?

  • Anonymous

    Wait—don’t move it; I’m perfectly balanced….

  • Globster

    I don’t need a glove, I’ll just pull out

  • Mohammed

    But I can’t feel anything with a glove… Trust me, I’ll pull out

  • Joe Dick

    May it please the court, I object.  This is PETRIFIED FECAL MATTER on the inside barrel of this gun, so why can’t I also wear a set of those rubber gloves?

  • Craig

    Any hole looks good to a bitter lawyer

  • Ponce De Leon

    So when the defendant handled this there was a discharge?

  • BLS

    Let’s play a little game.  It’s called just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels.