You may have noticed that, just like dogs, there are show cats who compete to be the best of their breed. It’s like a Miss Universe pageant but the owner isn’t orange and the swimsuit competition is way more disturbing.
Don’t be ridiculous, no one would put cats in bikinis. Instead, they take hundreds of cats, put them in cages, and then feel them up in front of an audience. Think we’re joking?
As one with four cats, I imagine that all of these cats are plotting to murder everyone involved in this indignity. Shockingly, the National Cat Show is not televised. We assume because hundreds of cats screaming in cages and then getting felt up in public is not good teevee. However, we can’t figure out why we only just learned that cats also compete in agility competitions.
No, REALLY. They put cats in a cage with an obstacle course, and then get them to chase a feather on a stick through the obstacles.
These cats must be a lot more into the feather/stick combo than mine are. That game gets old after about 30 seconds at my house.
It’s possible the reason this isn’t televised is for the same reason it seems like an absurd idea in the first place. The cats tend to go around the obstacles as often as they go through them. Passing flies are often as interesting as the course. Not to mention, occasionally, it’s just time for grooming or laying down to occur and god help anyone who tries to stand in the way.
However, as someone who watched an hour of Vocativ’s robots vs cats maze running live on Facebook, along with hundreds of other people, we have to wonder why this adorable and ridiculous competition isn’t televised? Quality control issues, we assume. Who wouldn’t want to watch Daniel King, who is, undoubtedly, the cat whisperer,
torture train these adorable fluff balls?
Want to talk about something else that should be televised? Well, in “researching” this post, we came across bunny hopping competitions. Yes, this is a real thing. Official bunny hopping competitions include 4 divisions: a straight course, a crooked course, high jump and long jump. Sweden was the first to formalize bunny hopping, creating some sort of competitive bunny hopping cooperative in the 70s. Seriously. You can’t make this shit up.
Seriously, teevee people, why is this any less legitimate than watching early 20 somethings fight to death to get a date? Forget “Teen Moms 2” we want high quality bunny hopping and cat agility competitions! With commentary!
Featured image courtesy of the Cat Fanciers’ Association