Has anyone noticed that lawyers are obsessed with punctuation marks? I mean, just obsessed. I mean, I get it: Correct grammar can make a profound difference. But seriously, when is the last time the choice between a semicolon and a colon had immense implications for your writing? Damn it! Now, I’m trying to think of…
First Week of Law School: Kitten Heels, Creased Dockers, and Widespread Panic
Inexplicably, after many years of higher education and a semi-successful career, law school sounded like a great idea. Please enjoy this column, dedicated to documenting the results of that “great” idea. Monday night, the enthusiasm is palpable. The hoard is ready, they will mingle and network come hell or high water. I am torn: I…
7 Deadly Sins of Law School
Across the country, law students are entering their august institutions. We here at Bitter Lawyer are happy to guide these students through the perils of their epic quest for a J.D. by reposting helpful tidbits provided by those that came before them. Stand on the shoulders of bitter giants, students. Everything has its own special…
Top Six Things You Are Doing The Day After The Bar
Sleeping Literally Everywhere All the tiredness you’ve been staving off for the last six weeks is going to catch up with you in a rush. You will fall asleep in your car, at the dinner table, while your significant other is talking. Anywhere, any time. Your body has a lot to make up for. Drinking…
I’m a Lawyer, But Not Yours — So Don’t Ask
I will not do any of these things because you are not my client. And I am not your lawyer.
Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Bo Bice Upset With Popeyes Over “White Boy” Comment
Bo Bice’s bid for relevance includes having a sad while getting some Popeye’s chicken.
Tales from the Trenches: An End to the Mollycoddling
Inexplicably, after many years of higher education and a semi-successful career, law school sounded like a great idea. Please enjoy this column, dedicated to documenting the results of that “great” idea. The break is over, and what started out last semester as an enjoyable diversion from real life now has the feel of routine. Does…
Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Kardashians Fight Blac Chyna Over Family Name
There has been some shit going down in Kardashian-land as of late, no? From Kim’s Paris robbery to Kanye’s hospital stay for “exhaustion” to the birth of Rob’s first child. It must’ve been a very interesting holiday season in Calabasas. The whirlwind of drama that is Rob’s life is challenging to follow. The one-time recluse…
Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Sofia Vergara Sued by Frozen Embryos
Every kid fights with his or her parents. But this saga takes that rite of passage to a whole new (icky) level. Modern Family star Sofia Vergara is being sued by her frozen embryos. But wait, it gets worse. They’ve been named “Emma” and “Isabella.” Backstory: Before she married Joe Manganiello in 2015, Sofia was…
How Do You Really Feel: Public Reviews of the Legal Profession
Yes, you would normally be reading all about the trials and tribulations of law school, but since the semester is over, we thought you’d enjoy the most absurd reviews of members of our esteemed profession we could find instead. When you hear “Pensacola, Florida” you probably don’t think, “great lawyers.” According to Yelp, you’re probably…
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