[Editor’s Note: This is late thru no fault of the illustrious Mr. Pinkham. We took Labor Day off like good Americans and forgot to hit “publish.” We regret the error.] Hello, and welcome back to Off The Menu, where we explore the craziest stories about food from my email inbox. This week, we’ve got one of…
10 Things Never To Say To Your Law School Prof
1. Sorry, I got high/drunk/laid last night is not a valid excuse for missing class 2. “Because I got high/drunk/laid last night, I missed class. I can’t make it to any of your office hours, so could you come in on the weekend and tell me everything I missed in class?” 3. “My other grandmother…
When You Picture the Future, Think of a Dutch Police Eagle Crushing a Drone, Forever
SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE–*crunch* No, I haven’t lost my mind. Rather, that’s my artist’s impression of the sound a Dutch police eagle makes when it gets medieval on a quadcopter. (Off topic, that might be the best sentence I’ve written in my short career as a writer.) Alongside hoverboards and vuvuzelas, commercial drones are one of those modern…
The Halcyon Days When Scandals, Gaffes, and Flubs Ended Presidential Campaigns
“In a normal year, this could be a campaign-ending event,” people (mostly in the media) have said as Trump has re-Tweeted neo-Nazis, lied about his charitable donations, casually suggested pulling out of NATO, and most recently (as of this writing) asked a hostile foreign power to spy on us to benefit his campaign. (Editor’s note:…
Blame Old Sitcoms For The Fact That Bigots Don’t Think They Are Bigots
If you’ve been paying attention to the Presidential race, you’ve probably noticed a couple of things: Trump’s tiny kitten paws with the delicate macaroni nubs he calls fingers. But after that, you’ve probably noticed a couple more things: The GOP rhetoric — particularly but by no means exclusively Trump’s — has gotten incredibly racist. Conservatives…
The Alabama Hammer Will Legal Your Brains Out
Move over Law Hawk. Wait, don’t actually. Do more commercials. We love you. But we digress, there is a new contender for our pretend title of “Best Ever Legal Advertising Strategy.” The Alabama Hammer. If you squint it totally rhymes. The Alabama Hammer will also hunt down the big bucks for you. Oh yeah, a…
7 Deadly Sins of Law School
Across the country, law students are entering their august institutions. We here at Bitter Lawyer are happy to guide these students through the perils of their epic quest for a J.D. by reposting helpful tidbits provided by those that came before them. Stand on the shoulders of bitter giants, students. Everything has its own special…
Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Thank Someone For an Offensive Gift?
Dear Bitter Butch, This all happened decades ago, and so has long been resolved. But I’m asking on behalf of my teenaged self, and those disabled teenagers and their parents living in the present. I have cerebral palsy, which is a “from infancy” condition. I was also mainstreamed in school, and the only disabled kid in…
The Shiny ‘Verse Of ‘The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet’
The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet Becky Chambers Arthur C. Clarke Award Finalist 2016 Shortlisted for the 2016 British Fantasy Awards for Best Newcomer Longlisted for the 2016 Baileys Women’s Prize for Fiction Longlisted for the 2015 Tiptree Award Shortlisted in the 2015 Kitschies for Best Debut I loved Becky Chamber’s debut novel…
Maize Is The Video Game About Sentient Corn That You Didn’t Know You Needed
Maize is a game about sentient corn, sort of. For a long time, I had this vague memory of watching a weird animated Christmas special that featured strange characters I hadn’t seen anywhere else. I remembered a stogie-chomping pink thing that I think was the villain and various bent-nosed forest creatures of indeterminate species. It…
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