You know the drill. It’s finals time, and when you’re not wallowing in regret and self-loathing, you’re avoiding studying. Not in cool fun ways like going out to dinner or seeing a movie, but more in pathetic home-bound ways where you tell yourself that any moment now, you’ll start studying. For sure. Promise. Right after…
5 Lawyerly Promotional Items To Grow Your Client Base
So, you’ve put your face on a local bus stop, created a zombie-themed teevee commercial, and bought a billboard on the outskirts of a very popular roller skating rink, but you’re still not getting the beaucoup client traffic you were hoping for. Well, we here at Bitter Lawyer can help you. We have found five sure-to-stand-out…
Texas Law Hawk Re-extends His Talons Of Justice
The Texas Law Hawk is back with another inspiringly insane vision to protect your rights.1 The Law Hawk will protect you from being arrested for playing Hungry Hungry Hippos as part of an elaborate gambling syndicate and drug smuggling scheme. It’s important for your firm to specialize, people. That’s advice you can take to the…
5 Steps To Surviving Your First Attorney Networking Event
Back when I was in law school I had grandiose visions about working as a public sector employee. I fantasized about career stability, a defined pension, and set hours that never involved weekend work. However what attracted me most to the prestige of working for the gubmint was the prospect of never ever having to…
The Five Things I’ve Learned About Starting My Own Law Firm
About two months have passed since I decided to stop alternating between applying for jobs that I had no chance of getting, and driving hours on end to the armpit of California for jobs that I didn’t want. That existence was quickly driving me insane, so I figured I’d rather embark into the exciting world…
Top 5 Most Baller Things About Ruth Bader Ginsburg
How much of a boss is Ruth Bader Ginsburg? You already know that she has an entire meme dedicated to her badassness: …but there is so, so much more. Let us count the top five ways that RBG goes so hard. 5. Lace Game On Fleek RBG has owned the lace doily game for years and years.…
Color Us Surprised: Scalia Is The Most Sarcastic Supreme Court Justice
Oh, Antonin Scalia. Love or hate him, he is the most entertaining Supreme Court justice to read, in large part because the man never met a fight he didn’t like. He writes everything like he is leading with that big angry chin of his. His cranky dissents are legendary even when you don’t actually remember…
Now You Can Own That Bryan Garner Bobblehead You Have Always Dreamed About
How hard do you fanboy over Bryan Garner? All the hardness? Do you carry around your copy of Black’s Law Dictionary in the hopes that one day you will bump into him and he will sign it? Do you argue with your friends over when “shine” is acting as an intransitive verb? Have you already…
A Thoroughly Necessary Dramatic Reading Of David Lat’s Self-Interview
In which Lawyerist’s Sam Glover and I perform a dramatic reading of Above the Law’s David Lat interviewing…David Lat. About David Lat.
League of Loathing: How WWE Entrenches Itself in the Periphery of Relevance
John Cena had a problem. The effective protagonist of the WWE, the largest professional wrestling organization in the world, was in trouble. Granted, by his standards, it was a minor affair: a young upstart named Dolph Ziggler, a former collegiate wrestler turned arrogant show-off complete with curly locks of bleach-blonde hair had, in the course…
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