Bitter Empire

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Virginia Updates Bar Exam Dress Code to "Hipster Fabulous"

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The Virginia Board of Bar Examiners have enforced a strict dress code of “proper business attire” for applicants during test-taking, much to the chagrin of recent law-school grads used to taking exams in pajama pants and ratty sweatshirts. After years of criticism, the Board of Bar Examiners for the Commonwealth of Virginia has finally relented…

10 Things Never To Say To Your Law School Prof

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1. Sorry, I got high/drunk/laid last night is not a valid excuse for missing class 2. “Because I got high/drunk/laid last night, I missed class. I can’t make it to any of your office hours, so could you come in on the weekend and tell me everything I missed in class?” 3. “My other grandmother…

Even More Awesome Legal Parody Songs

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With so many talented, about to be under-employed, law students out there, we felt it was time to create another assemblage of ridiculous legal parody songs. And so, in no particular order and with our only purpose being to share the love, we bring you even more awesome legal parody songs. Syracuse Law parody of “1985”…

Is Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane The Comeback Kid?

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The word is out, and without a leak. The investigative grand jury considering whether Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) should face criminal charges has said she should, according to documents released by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. The released documents do not, however, provide any details on the testimony the grand jury heard. The released…

Lawsuit Of The Day: These Pantyhose Did Not Give Me An Orgasm

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Sometimes you have a lawsuit that is so delightful as to be almost unbelievable. Witness this lady who is very very mad her pantyhose did not give her a foot massage or an orgasm and has sued the manufacturer for false advertising. Here’s the ad for the absurdly named “Kushyfoot” nylons: There’s some groans of…

Kathleen Kane's PA Pileup: Porn, Penn State, Porous Grand Juries, and Possible Charges

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Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) appears headed for a bad year after having endured a pretty tough 2014. A leak from an investigative grand jury investigating a grand jury leak (yes, that’s right) says the jury has recommended criminal charges against Kane. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, which cited unnamed sources, the investigative grand…

Lawyers, Don't Do This: Special Just For Prosecutors Version

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So you are a prosecutor. Congratulations! And you are prosecuting actual criminals who seem to have done bad things! Also congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself. What you should not do, ever, though, is do what Canyon County (Idaho) Deputy Prosecutor Erica Kallin did and decide that it would be a great idea…