This week, I have no overarching gripes, however, I have learned a lot. The usefulness of this information is perhaps debatable, but what the hell. 1.) Law students are obsessed with formal wear. This week I was invited to a formal dance – this is a thing I have not done since high school. I’ve…
Tales from the Trenches: Role Playing is for Sexxxy-Time, Not Law School
Like many venerable schools of law, ours is concerned about our ability to practice in the real world. Apparently, they got sick of graduating a bunch of idiots that ruined the school’s excellent reputation, by greeting clients by saying “How’s it hanging, bro?” Or at least that’s my interpretation of what’s happening here. And so,…
Most Important Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Harry Shearer Sues for Spinal Tap Fraud
Editor’s note: normally, we focus on the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuit we can dig up each week. This time, however, we are legit 1000% behind Harry Shearer and the rest of the Spinal Tap folks getting all the money. Gobs of money. Torrents of money. At the top of the list of most-quotable movies sits…
Tales from the Trenches: Torts Will Destroy My GPA
Oh, law school. Where to begin? I know! Torts. Oh, torts. You are awful. I am not even sure why. You are like the Magic-Grow Animals of the law: The concept seems simple. And then, it grows. Exceptions creep in. Half the Restatement rule was picked up, but the other half was not. Slotting the…
A Very Special Lego Study Guide For Law Students
Law school is all sorts of mature and grown up. I’ve yet to see anyone show up in their pajamas and no one seems interested in ditching class to smoke weed. But, if, like me, you find maturity to be totally overrated, perhaps you’d prefer to study via Lego? Well, we here at Bitter Lawyer…
Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Britney Threatens to Sue In Touch Over “Erratic” Behavior Story
Britney Spears has had some rough times in her past, but it’s been a long time since her umbrella smackdown and head-shaving days. That was back when Brit was running wild and free. Now everything’s different. Her current camp is so on the ball that if one of her people even hears whispers about bad…
Tales from the Trenches: Law School is Full of Gossip
I have survived “mid-terms,” aka “early-semester indicators of stupidity,” so it appears that I will not need to drop out of law school and ride the rails, hobo style, mourning my inability to understand the elements of battery. I will not publicly lament my grades. Wait, screw it. Yes, I will. OMIGOD, law school. These…
Tales from the Trenches: Law School is a Rollercoaster
Inexplicably, we have begun midterms. I know, we’re like four weeks in, so how can it already be the middle of the term? It is not. It would be more accurate to call these, early-semester indicators of your stupidity, but obviously the profs decided that was a bit wordy. You may think from last week’s…
Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuit of the Week: Lindsay Lohan’s Suit Against Video Game Dismissed
The pure joy experienced when we see Lindsay Lohan’s name attached to a lawsuit is indescribable. These days, you just don’t hear too much about the one-time almost daily subject of salacious gossip. Perhaps she’s gotten her act together. Yeah, probably not. Even though Linds hasn’t been in the spotlight for a while, she still…
Tales from the Trenches: Law School is Psychological Warfare
My friends would say I’m relatively laid back. No, really. In my normal life, no one would ever think, “hey, I bet you really enjoy crushing people’s dreams.” Well, I’m here to tell you that I do. I don’t know why. It seems reasonable to assume that in grad school I still had something to…
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