We’re going back to our martial arts beginnings with this week’s movie, Bloodsport, featuring action movie actor extraordinaire Jean-Claude Van Damme (a.k.a The Muscles from Brussels) in one of his first starring roles. According to Wikipedia, the movie showcases some of Van Damme’s athletic abilities, including a move called “helicopter-style, jump spinning heel kicks.” Apparently, in addition to various martial arts, JCtotheVD (yeah, that didn’t work) studied ballet, which he called “an art, but it’s also one of the most difficult sports. If you can survive a ballet workout, you can survive a workout in any other sport.” The only difference between a pirouette and roundhouse is whether your foot connects with someone’s face. Or something.
There will be 80s-quality sound-enhanced punching. And full splits. And some guy apparently tells JCVD that he isn’t Japanese (*snort* Jean-Claude Van Damme is whatever the hell he wants to be, dude). Just check out the trailer (below) and you’ll be as pumped as, well, the iron in JCVD’s house.
Showtime is tonight, 9pm Central. Make yourself a Bloody Mary, find yourself a comfy spot on the couch, tune in to Bloodsport on Netflix, and pull up the liveblog starting at 9pm CDT.
Bomb Voyage and Bomberella of The Bomb Squad: Dismantling bad movies one live-blog at a time.
Tonight we’re drinking Bloody Marys. Because blood. And because they’re packed with stuff, like Bloodsport. People make their Marys like Jean-Claude says his lines: any Van Damme way he pleases. We’re being sort of lazy this evening––a purist would use things like Worcestershire sauce and tabasco sauce and horseradish sauce––but we’ve gone with a mixture of Zing Zang Bloody Mary mix and Spicy Hot V8. And a bunch of other stuff in spear shape/on skewers.
Bloody Mary, Bomb Squad-style
3 parts Zing Zang
1 part Spicy Hot V8
1 part vodka
beer chaser (snit)
Rim a glass with celery salt and fill with ice. Add vodka, Zing Zang, and Spicy Hot V8. Slide a cheese cube (or two), olive, and lime wedge onto a skewer; add celery stalk, pickle, and
beefcake beef stick to the drink. Or you could add shrimp, asparagus, or, say, (muscles from) Brussels sprouts. We like ours with a snit. For more ideas, check out this really loaded Bloody Mary bar. It has bacon!