The Bomb Squad would like to apologize for the last two week’s technical difficulties. We hope you can join us tonight at 9ish PM Central. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and we’re Irish, so let’s hope luck is on our side. Third time’s the charm?
Rubber features a serial killer named Robert who (that?) travels around blowing things up with his mind. Oh yeah, and Robert is a tire. Or, tyre, if you’re British. Any way you spell it, we feel like the premise of this movie is so ridiculous that it has to be good, right? This is our first French film – oh là là! – but we’re guessing it won’t be our last.
Showtime is tonight, 9pm Central. Make yourself a cocktail, find yourself a comfy spot on the couch, tune in to Rubber on Netflix, and pull up the liveblog starting at 9pm CDT.
Jump right down to the liveblog.
Tonight’s Movie
Tonight’s Cocktail
Irish car bomb! For obvious reasons. We made ours the “original” way, with 1/2 Kahlùa, 1/4 Bailey’s Irish cream, and 1/4 Jameson Irish Whiskey in a shot glass, dropped into a pint of Guinness, but most people just use Irish cream and Irish whiskey. We happen to have lots of Kahlùa lying around. One of our friends, who is married to someone from Belfast, would want us to note that not only is this an American cocktail, it is typically not ordered in Ireland (and could be considered offensive across the pond). But since we live in America, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, and nobody drinks a French car bomb (which is an actual drink, apparently), this seemed like a fitting choice for this film. Apologies to our Irish relatives.
Tonight’s Liveblog
Is everyone ready?
Push play!
We open on a road full of chairs. Already it’s awesome.
Because of our technical difficulties this is my third time watching the opening scene. It has lots none of the WTF.
I feel like my driver’s ed teacher made us do that maneuver around chairs. He also hit a girl in my class with his car, so….
Man in trunk! Man in trunk!
Why IS the alien brown in ET?
Because that happened in real life to JFK.
Is this one of those raison d’etre movies? I feel like it is.And I feel like the answer is no raison.
I can’t believe he just wasted all that water. It’s the desert. There’s a drought.
I’m happy they’re being up front about the “no reason” theme. Because how else do you get a homicidal tire?
It’s true. I also am happy that he climbed back into the trunk.
And I love that all the binoculars have caps. It seems like that would be important in the desert.
Hold on, let me get out my binoculars to watch this movie properly.
They’re also useful when a) looking for dracula and b) going on a bear hunt.
At least, that’s what elementary school taught me.
I would have loved to hear this guy pitch the movie. “We see a tire. It starts to spin. It loosens itself from its sandy dwelling and starts rolling down the road. It decides to go on a murderous rampage.”
That tire wobbles like it’s had a few.
Does it look ominous?
I try not to make judgment calls based on looks. Recent news stories suggest this is a bad idea.
So this film is basically the crew rolling the tire around until they get the shot they need.
It did a number on that plastic water bottle, though.
And the scorpion. But I feel like that was justified. Its stinger could have punctured the tire.
And shaking it–don’t forget shaking it until they get the shot they need!
The tire makes its first kill.
The tire kills again. With its psychic power!
It’s all over now, humans.
Not the Milwaukee!
Do you think it used to be a race car tire? When it (he?) blows things up with his mind, he (it?) makes a revving noise.
That is 100% not a racing tire.
I know. Just sayin’.
This is meant to be a tired tire, tuckered out from a hard day of coming alive.
Animating is tough, Bomb Voyage. So is killing bottles.
Fun Fact: The man in the wheelchair (Wings Hauser, I am not making that up that is his real name) made an album in the 70s called “Your Love Keeps Me Off the Streets.”
I wonder if they used any of it for this movie.
Oh no, he’s going to kill her/her battery!
I’m not going to screencap every kill, but let’s just say that the tire is now officially a monster.
Seriously. That rabbit is deadly cute. Or was, I should say. He’s achieved Fatal Attraction status.
When do we find out how the tire gets its name? That’s the #1 thing I’m looking forward to finding out from watching this movie.
I think his girlfriend names him.
You know how in horror movies the characters are always doing stupid things they should know better than to do? Well at least in this movie you can feel pretty good about the fact that nobody seems at all alarmed by the tire. Tires are legitimately not thing you would have a reason to worry about.
I feel like if I saw a tire rolling down the road by itself with nothing propelling it, I might be suspicious.
Psycho shower scene coming up, but with a tire.
And now he’s a perve.
I get it, “blow.”
BLOW JOB GET IT. TIRES GET BLOWOUTS.
Yes, I got it. It was a tired joke.
I feel like it fell flat. Don’t mean to deflate your ego…
Just had to air my feelings.
What is the turkey doing there?
Wait, how did the tire get a room at the motel?
Spoiler alert (I think): the TV gets it.
Wait, how did that guy cook a turkey in the motel room?
There is so much WTF to screencap in this movie.
So far the TV and the girl in the shower are both alive. Who would have guessed?
Tread lightly, maid!
How much mileage do you think I can get out of these puns?
Some more.
I feel like I’m on a roll.
Don’t want to rub-ber it in.
I LOLed for real at “on a roll.” I groaned at “rub-ber it in.”
I’m wheelie sorry.
I mean, it would take a while for me to start being suspicious of a tire, especially when you’re in a desert full of garbage and car tires.
Yes, but a tire on the edge of a pool. Just standing upright?
We used to float down the river in inner tubes. But an inner tube =/= tire.
What was in that turkey?
The tire reenacts the pool scene from The Graduate.
Yes!
Is the sheriff going to say “no reason” at every opportunity?
Probably. I would.
Wait I missed that about poisoning the spectators.
The guy who plays Mr. Hughes is named “David Bowe” in real life. No reason.
“No, it’s not real life, you have a stuffed toy alligator under your arm.”
Who you’re right!
I wish that happened in real life.
This is not giving a good impression of small town cops.
The maid is not dead, but the spectators are?
I’m very confused. And I haven’t even had much to drink yet.
The deaths only exist if someone’s watching?
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Me either, despite my socks.
How could you look yourself in the mirror after killing that rabbit?
Listen tire, you’re a monster.
Flashback to his life on a wheel!
I still want to know how they find out the tire’s name is Robert.
“Me, human, boy.” Missed opportunity for him to introduce himself. It’s a classic Tarzan/Jane moment.
“What brand of tire?” “We don’t know yet. Probably brandless.” Genius.
My friend just asked me if this movie was written as a Mad Libs. Ha!
Man, Wings Hauser is one tough dude.
“Pull over, tire!”
Don’t make it angry!
I feel like there’s going to be one of those “It was all in his head” or “He was dreaming” endings. Like we’re all in a snow globe.
I think I prefer the quick deaths.
Somehow Wings Hauser was on 6 episodes of Beverly HIlls 90210.
But only 5 episodes of Roseanne.
What do you mean, somehow? That was perfect casting.
There’s definitely a metaphor in that giant pile of tires.
Seriously, look at that IMDB page! (I’m assuming that bio is his own doing.)
What are you talking about? That giant pile of burning tires in a movie about a killer tire is just meaningless background. It can’t be a metaphor.
His other movies include: Nightmare at Noon, Death Street USA, and Guns and Lipstick. You can’t make that up.
Now the La-Z-Boy is clearly a metaphor.
He’s watching racing…
This is all because Wings Hauser keeps watching with a pair of binoculars and no apparent need for breaks or food.
I want to know that brand of binoculars.
Come pun-ISH me.
Wings Hauser to the rescue!
I love that his hat says “Classically Trained.”
I guess he had a short fuse.
I didn’t hear where it got a name.
Not the tricycle!
Is that the same one Jigsaw rides?
Wingssssssssssssssssssssss!
And now, somehow, it’s been reincarnated as a murderous trike …
… that killed Wings.
It’s like a roving evil wheel spirit.
Wheel in the Sky
… KEEPS ON TURNIN’!
I hope they make a sequel.
This is like a triumphant 80s movie ending. All we need is for it to roll into a high school auditorium and suddenly become the most popular kid in school.
Right? This is some righteous 80s music.
Maybe it’s the trike from The Shining.
PLOT TWIST. More tires awaken …
He’s like Trik-ula!
Be afraid. It’s like The Birds, but with tires.
That movie was more WTF than good or bad.
That was so delightfully weird! I loved it. I’d give it a 4 out of 5 stars. But I agree, more WTF than good or bad.
The only thing preventing me from giving it 5 was I don’t love gore and those explosions were gross.
I gave it a 3 and now Netflix is recommending The Human Centipede 2. I may have to give it a 1 to prevent further horrifying recommendations.
Bomb Voyage? Your vote?
Netflix did the same to me. It also recommended Sharknado, though…
I’m sticking with 3. I liked it. It was good-bad. Although on-purpose good-bad, which is really hard to do well. But it did it. Well.
Solid 3.
Well, a solid 3.5. That’s a pretty good score.
So true. 3.5 is our average. Pretty good.
Thanks for joining us tonight, guys! Tune in next week at 9 PM Central for our take on Zeta One.
Guys, I wore my Green Beer-Drinking Socks!