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Cinéma Atroce: Rubber

  The Bomb Squad /   March 17, 2015 /   Critic, Live Blog /   Leave a Comment

The Bomb Squad would like to apologize for the last two week’s technical difficulties. We hope you can join us tonight at 9ish PM Central. It’s St. Patrick’s Day, and we’re Irish, so let’s hope luck is on our side. Third time’s the charm?

Rubber features a serial killer named Robert who (that?) travels around blowing things up with his mind. Oh yeah, and Robert is a tire. Or, tyre, if you’re British. Any way you spell it, we feel like the premise of this movie is so ridiculous that it has to be good, right? This is our first French film – oh là là! – but we’re guessing it won’t be our last.

Showtime is tonight, 9pm Central. Make yourself a cocktail, find yourself a comfy spot on the couch, tune in to Rubber on Netflix, and pull up the liveblog starting at 9pm CDT.

Jump right down to the liveblog.

Tonight’s Movie

Tonight’s Cocktail

Irish Car Bomb

Irish car bomb! For obvious reasons. We made ours the “original” way, with 1/2 Kahlùa, 1/4 Bailey’s Irish cream, and 1/4 Jameson Irish Whiskey in a shot glass, dropped into a pint of Guinness, but most people just use Irish cream and Irish whiskey. We happen to have lots of Kahlùa lying around. One of our friends, who is married to someone from Belfast, would want us to note that not only is this an American cocktail, it is typically not ordered in Ireland (and could be considered offensive across the pond). But since we live in America, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, and nobody drinks a French car bomb (which is an actual drink, apparently), this seemed like a fitting choice for this film. Apologies to our Irish relatives.

Tonight’s Liveblog

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20158:52 pm

Guys, I wore my Green Beer-Drinking Socks!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20158:52 pm

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20158:59 pm

Is everyone ready?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:00 pm

Push play!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:00 pm

We open on a road full of chairs. Already it’s awesome.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:00 pm

Because of our technical difficulties this is my third time watching the opening scene. It has lots none of the WTF.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:01 pm

I feel like my driver’s ed teacher made us do that maneuver around chairs. He also hit a girl in my class with his car, so….

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:02 pm

Man in trunk! Man in trunk!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:02 pm

Why IS the alien brown in ET?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:02 pm

Because that happened in real life to JFK. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:03 pm

Is this one of those raison d’etre movies? I feel like it is.And I feel like the answer is no raison.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:04 pm

I can’t believe he just wasted all that water. It’s the desert. There’s a drought.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:04 pm

I’m happy they’re being up front about the “no reason” theme. Because how else do you get a homicidal tire?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:05 pm

It’s true. I also am happy that he climbed back into the trunk.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:06 pm

And I love that all the binoculars have caps. It seems like that would be important in the desert.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:06 pm

Hold on, let me get out my binoculars to watch this movie properly.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:07 pm

They’re also useful when a) looking for dracula and b) going on a bear hunt.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:07 pm

At least, that’s what elementary school taught me.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:09 pm

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:09 pm

I would have loved to hear this guy pitch the movie. “We see a tire. It starts to spin. It loosens itself from its sandy dwelling and starts rolling down the road. It decides to go on a murderous rampage.”

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:10 pm

That tire wobbles like it’s had a few.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:11 pm

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:11 pm

Does it look ominous?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:12 pm

I try not to make judgment calls based on looks. Recent news stories suggest this is a bad idea.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:12 pm

So this film is basically the crew rolling the tire around until they get the shot they need.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:12 pm

It did a number on that plastic water bottle, though.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:13 pm

And the scorpion. But I feel like that was justified. Its stinger could have punctured the tire.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:14 pm

And shaking it–don’t forget shaking it until they get the shot they need!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:14 pm

The tire makes its first kill.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:16 pm

The tire kills again. With its psychic power!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:17 pm

It’s all over now, humans.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:17 pm

Not the Milwaukee!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:17 pm

Do you think it used to be a race car tire? When it (he?) blows things up with his mind, he (it?) makes a revving noise.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:17 pm

That is 100% not a racing tire.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:18 pm

I know. Just sayin’.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:19 pm

This is meant to be a tired tire, tuckered out from a hard day of coming alive.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:21 pm

Animating is tough, Bomb Voyage. So is killing bottles.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:21 pm

Fun Fact: The man in the wheelchair (Wings Hauser, I am not making that up that is his real name) made an album in the 70s called “Your Love Keeps Me Off the Streets.”

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:22 pm

I wonder if they used any of it for this movie. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:22 pm

Oh no, he’s going to kill her/her battery!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:22 pm

I’m not going to screencap every kill, but let’s just say that the tire is now officially a monster.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:23 pm

Seriously. That rabbit is deadly cute. Or was, I should say. He’s achieved Fatal Attraction status.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:24 pm

When do we find out how the tire gets its name? That’s the #1 thing I’m looking forward to finding out from watching this movie.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:25 pm

I think his girlfriend names him.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:26 pm

You know how in horror movies the characters are always doing stupid things they should know better than to do? Well at least in this movie you can feel pretty good about the fact that nobody seems at all alarmed by the tire. Tires are legitimately not thing you would have a reason to worry about.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:27 pm

I feel like if I saw a tire rolling down the road by itself with nothing propelling it, I might be suspicious. 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:27 pm

Psycho shower scene coming up, but with a tire.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:27 pm

And now he’s a perve. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:28 pm

I get it, “blow.” 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:29 pm

BLOW JOB GET IT. TIRES GET BLOWOUTS.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:29 pm

Yes, I got it. It was a tired joke.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:30 pm

I feel like it fell flat. Don’t mean to deflate your ego…

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:31 pm

Just had to air my feelings.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:31 pm

What is the turkey doing there?

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:31 pm

Wait, how did the tire get a room at the motel?

Spoiler alert (I think): the TV gets it.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:34 pm

Wait, how did that guy cook a turkey in the motel room?

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:34 pm

There is so much WTF to screencap in this movie.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:35 pm

So far the TV and the girl in the shower are both alive. Who would have guessed?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:35 pm

Tread lightly, maid!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:35 pm

How much mileage do you think I can get out of these puns?

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:36 pm

Some more.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:36 pm

I feel like I’m on a roll.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:36 pm

Don’t want to rub-ber it in.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:36 pm

I LOLed for real at “on a roll.” I groaned at “rub-ber it in.”

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:38 pm

I’m wheelie sorry.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:38 pm

I mean, it would take a while for me to start being suspicious of a tire, especially when you’re in a desert full of garbage and car tires.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:39 pm

Yes, but a tire on the edge of a pool. Just standing upright? 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:40 pm

We used to float down the river in inner tubes. But an inner tube =/= tire.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:40 pm

What was in that turkey?

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:40 pm

The tire reenacts the pool scene from The Graduate.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:43 pm

Yes!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:44 pm

Is the sheriff going to say “no reason” at every opportunity?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:45 pm

Probably. I would.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:45 pm

Wait I missed that about poisoning the spectators.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:45 pm

The guy who plays Mr. Hughes is named “David Bowe” in real life. No reason.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:47 pm

“No, it’s not real life, you have a stuffed toy alligator under your arm.”

Who you’re right!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:47 pm

I wish that happened in real life.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:48 pm

This is not giving a good impression of small town cops.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:48 pm

The maid is not dead, but the spectators are? 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:49 pm

I’m very confused. And I haven’t even had much to drink yet.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:49 pm

The deaths only exist if someone’s watching?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:49 pm

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:50 pm

Me either, despite my socks.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:52 pm

How could you look yourself in the mirror after killing that rabbit?

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:53 pm

Listen tire, you’re a monster.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:53 pm

Flashback to his life on a wheel!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:54 pm

I still want to know how they find out the tire’s name is Robert.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:54 pm

“Me, human, boy.” Missed opportunity for him to introduce himself. It’s a classic Tarzan/Jane moment.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:54 pm

“What brand of tire?” “We don’t know yet. Probably brandless.” Genius.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:56 pm

My friend just asked me if this movie was written as a Mad Libs. Ha!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:57 pm

Man, Wings Hauser is one tough dude.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 20159:57 pm

“Pull over, tire!”

The Bomb Squad March 17, 20159:58 pm

Don’t make it angry!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:00 pm

I feel like there’s going to be one of those “It was all in his head” or “He was dreaming” endings. Like we’re all in a snow globe.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:01 pm

I think I prefer the quick deaths.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:01 pm

Somehow Wings Hauser was on 6 episodes of Beverly HIlls 90210.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:01 pm

But only 5 episodes of Roseanne.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:01 pm

What do you mean, somehow? That was perfect casting.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:02 pm

There’s definitely a metaphor in that giant pile of tires.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:02 pm

Seriously, look at that IMDB page! (I’m assuming that bio is his own doing.)

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:03 pm

What are you talking about? That giant pile of burning tires in a movie about a killer tire is just meaningless background. It can’t be a metaphor.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:04 pm

His other movies include: Nightmare at Noon, Death Street USA, and Guns and Lipstick. You can’t make that up.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:05 pm

Now the La-Z-Boy is clearly a metaphor.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:06 pm

He’s watching racing…

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:06 pm

This is all because Wings Hauser keeps watching with a pair of binoculars and no apparent need for breaks or food.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:07 pm

I want to know that brand of binoculars.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:07 pm

Come pun-ISH me. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:08 pm

Wings Hauser to the rescue!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:09 pm

I love that his hat says “Classically Trained.” 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:09 pm

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:11 pm

I guess he had a short fuse.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:12 pm

I didn’t hear where it got a name.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:12 pm

Not the tricycle!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:12 pm

Is that the same one Jigsaw rides?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:13 pm

Wingssssssssssssssssssssss!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:14 pm

And now, somehow, it’s been reincarnated as a murderous trike …

… that killed Wings.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:14 pm

It’s like a roving evil wheel spirit.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:14 pm

Wheel in the Sky

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:15 pm

… KEEPS ON TURNIN’!

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:15 pm

I hope they make a sequel. 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:15 pm

This is like a triumphant 80s movie ending. All we need is for it to roll into a high school auditorium and suddenly become the most popular kid in school.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:16 pm

Right? This is some righteous 80s music.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:16 pm

Maybe it’s the trike from The Shining.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:17 pm

PLOT TWIST. More tires awaken …

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:17 pm

He’s like Trik-ula!

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:19 pm

Be afraid. It’s like The Birds, but with tires.

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:19 pm

That movie was more WTF than good or bad.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:21 pm

That was so delightfully weird! I loved it. I’d give it a 4 out of 5 stars. But I agree, more WTF than good or bad. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:21 pm

The only thing preventing me from giving it 5 was I don’t love gore and those explosions were gross. 

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:23 pm

I gave it a 3 and now Netflix is recommending The Human Centipede 2. I may have to give it a 1 to prevent further horrifying recommendations.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:23 pm

Bomb Voyage? Your vote?

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:23 pm

Netflix did the same to me. It also recommended Sharknado, though…

Bomb Voyage March 17, 201510:24 pm

I’m sticking with 3. I liked it. It was good-bad. Although on-purpose good-bad, which is really hard to do well. But it did it. Well.

Solid 3.

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:24 pm

Well, a solid 3.5. That’s a pretty good score. 

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:25 pm

So true. 3.5 is our average. Pretty good.  

The Bomb Squad March 17, 201510:26 pm

Thanks for joining us tonight, guys! Tune in next week at 9 PM Central for our take on Zeta One. 

Filed Under: Critic, Live Blog Tagged With: Cinéma Atroce, live blog, rubber

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