Well, the luck of the Irish was with us last week, as far as technological issues go; let’s hope Lady Luck is on our side tonight. Zeta One aka The Love Factor is a British movie from 1969 (of course) with the tagline (we’re not making this up): It’s Sexcitement in Time and Space!
According to IMDB’s description, “A race of topless, large-breasted women from the planet Angvia, in another dimension, come to earth to kidnap women to repopulate their planet.” (Angvia, huh? We see what you’ve done there.) Go-go boots! A character named Major Burden (played by James Robertson Justice)! British accents! Sixties fashion! James Bond-spoofing that inspired Austin Powers! Seriously––what more could you want?
Showtime is tonight, 9pm Central. Make yourself a cocktail, find yourself a comfy spot on the couch, tune in to Zeta One on Netflix, and pull up the liveblog starting at 9pm CDT.
Bomb Voyage (f/k/a Bon Voyage) is a steam-driven typewriter lovingly crafted by Ada Lovelace to reproduce her dead father’s poetry. After a bizarre incident with a heroic couplet, the typewriter refused to serve its original purpose and demanded access to Netflix. It quickly developed a preference for bad movies and went through reams of paper describing them. As part of its greenwashing effort, the scientists at Bitter Empire attached a USB port and plugged Bomb Voyage into this website. Immediately, it began downing Old Fashioneds and spewing liveblogs, which are now the only way it will communicate with the outside world.
The cinémacritics at Bitter Empire found Bomberella under an abandoned railroad bridge, acting out classic movie bits with a bowling pin and an old gumball machine. From what they could piece together of her origin story, Bomberella’s only childhood friend was her VCR, into which she fed massive quantities of VHS tapes, until one day a corrupted copy of Battlefield Earth started on fire. Bomberella managed to escape but her beloved movie collection was destroyed. Hoping to spare others from a similar fate, Bomberella teamed up with Bomb Voyage and their crew of mirthful movie-watchers to defuse blockbuster bombs as part of Cinéma Atroce. Together, they are The Bomb Squad: Dismantling bad movies one live-blog at a time.
We really wanted to make it Zima, but, sadly, Zima is no more. Also, the Go-Go Girl seemed more fitting (and less complicated than Go-Go Juice). Not to be confused with Go Girl Sugar Free energy drink aimed at women. Because if it isn’t pink how will I know it’s meant for me?
1 1/2 oz Bacardi light rum
1 1/2 oz mango nectar
3 1/2 oz pineapple juice
Add rum and mango nectar to a highball glass full of ice. Pour over the pineapple juice and stir. Garnish with a slice of pineapple. (Or in our case, a maraschino cherry.)