Let’s face it. You don’t really ever want to keep track of most class actions. You often have to opt into the class, and even then you get something crappy like a buck-forty to spend at Jimmy John’s after they robbed you of sprouts or coupons for some more candy when the candy lied to you about being healthy. Or the class action takes forfucking ever, like that BAR/BRI thing that may or may not be finally resolved. (We got tired of Googling to try to figure out if it was done). But what if you could be reimbursed for your bad habit of drinking crummy beer that you believed was crummy German beer instead of crummy domestic beer? Now we’re talking!
If you’ve been drinking Beck’s beer thinking that you were consuming an authentic German pilsner, Law Blog suggests that you might want to sit down for this: Beck’s is produced in St. Louis, brewed with water from Missouri.
The good news is that you may qualify for a refund — up to $50 if you or your family downed hundreds of Beck’s bottles since 2011 and had the foresight to save the receipts
If you failed to keep your receipts, your money back is capped at $12, because otherwise you people would just lie, lie, lie about how much Beck’s you drank.
Hold up. Is there anyone on earth that saves their receipts for sub-par fake German beer? On second thought, is there anyone on earth that saves their receipts for good beer? On third thought, who even gets receipts any longer in the glorious digital currency era?
But we digress. How on earth could people have believed that Beck’s, owned by St. Louis brewing behemoth Anheuser-Busch InBev, was brewed in Germany? Perhaps because, according to attorneys for the class, of how the packaging basically screamed GERMAN GERMAN GERMAN one million times.
Nowhere on the cardboard packaging of Beck’s Beer does the label indicate that Beck’s is brewed in the U.S.A. with domestic ingredients. In fact, the new packaging for Beck’s boldly states that it is “German Quality” beer and “Originated in Bremen, Germany” despite the fact that Beck’s no longer originates from Germany, but originates from St. Louis. Beck’s logo also remains, along with the image of the coat of arms of Bremen, Germany. Defendant went one step further to bolster the German identity of Beck’s beer by prominently adding the claim “Brewed Under the German Purity Law of 1516.” This claim is false. The German Purity Law of 1516 allows only the inclusion of barley, hops and water in beer, and Beck’s contains yeast and other ingredients and additives.
For shame, Anheuser-Busch. For shame. Have you no sense of decency? You’d think that Anheuser would have learned its lesson given that it had to settle a distressingly similar class action lawsuit over Kirin beer, which, surprise surprise, is not brewed in Japan. Is there nothing left to believe in?