WELCOME. The Crabby Old Punk Rock Advice Lady is open for business, and is here to help you with your practical life quandaries!
Warning: This is not an advice column; the COPRAL is not here to help you with your relationships, your mom, or your existential angst about growing up. There are people who already do that much better than I could, or ever will.
But are you freaking out because you need to buy a couch? Not sure how to handle that situation at the office with the guy who calls you “sweetheart”? You can’t afford to live alone, but have no idea how to survive living with a roommate? The COPRAL is here to help you with that!
I am an old (over 50) lady who likes helping people and has found herself falling into an unofficial advisory role for women half my age because apparently I have good advice. I am not necessarily “nice,” but I do care, or I wouldn’t bother. I had to figure out most of this myself, or with the help of people like me that I knew back when I was young and foolish and had no idea what I was doing, and it’s a wonder I didn’t end up running home, except that it would have been a fate worse than death, so I had to figure it out. I have the cheat sheets and the secret codes and the blessing of being old and having made all the mistakes that can be made, or had a front row seat at watching other people make them.
I am here to help!
Mostly my advice will be aimed at young-ish single women who live in a city of any size, because, quite frankly, dudes already have it pretty good and I have no special insights to the problems of the young dude in the world. Someone should totally do this for guys, and I will probably answer letters from dudes if I think the query is universal, but I am here for the ladies. Girls to the front.
Send your queries to: COPRAL@bitterempire.com
[Post image via Shutterstock]