Why is this here, you’re asking? What in your bitter lawyer life has led you to read about a tv show that involves an elite hacker team outrunning planes in a Ferrari? First, because we’re rolling out our bitter empire, and tv, bitter and otherwise, will be a big part of our empire once our death star is fully operational. Also because WOW, people, do something other than work sometimes.
I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. I thought we had a thing here, you and me. You know, like last week – you made a real issue in the world exciting and dramatic and I told people about how your exciting and dramatic plot point matches up with real life. But, then you went and made your second episode about bio-hacking…
Here’s the thing – I could get over the awkward fist bump scene.
I overlooked the absurd coincidence of the main characters’ dark backstories matching up so closely to both each other and the plot points of the episode. I could even overlook the level 2 biohazard lab that someone apparently created in a storage closet, complete with an inexplicable back door.
And who am I to argue with the idea that Walter O’Brien is both a computer genius and capable of recognizing specific DNA sequences? Although actually, Mike Masnick over at TechDirt is pretty convincing when he points out the flaws in the “based on” tag line that CBS is running with. But really, I can let it go – I love me some fast paced action, loosely based on computers – I think Hackers is literally the best movie ever made…
…and watch it at least three or four times a year, so it’s not like I’m pedantic about accurate reflections of reality in my cinematic experiences.
But BIO-HACKING? Are you freakin’ kidding me? There is no way for me to spin this in your favor.
I know this is a real thing. In the sense that there is a really awesome semi-underground bioDIY movement, not unrelated to the Makers movement.
Also, that there is a community of people calling themselves cyborgs, who have started randomly implanting themselves with magnets and whatnot in their bodies – including color blind artist Neil Harbisson, whose work with sound waves is pretty amazing.
But, personalized gene therapies are truly remarkable. We’re talking about cutting edge medicine that’s only really now hitting the media. In the second episode of Scorpion this idea was extrapolated into an aerosolized virus of targeted individual death. Well, that’s not a thing. Oh, aerosolized death-causing viruses, that’s a thing. An indiscriminate, terrifying thing. That wasn’t enough for you? You couldn’t find a way to be a little more positive about what could be the greatest medical advancement of our time?
This might not have been as egregious if you’d pushed out 21 episodes of scientific and technological terrors that we really should be super worried about and you had this one odd, future fear-mongering episode. But, no, this was what you chose for your SECOND episode!? You can’t tell me you couldn’t find a single more realistic thing to terrify us with in the STEM fields? Even in the biotech field there are way bigger issues: hacking medical technologies like pacemakers and insulin pumps as demonstrated by the late Barnaby Jack, or the creation of lethal viruses à la Mousepox. I’m sure there are more, but the stories became so frightening that I refused to spend more time on the google looking for them.
And that’s why I’m disappointed in you, Scorpion. You are fear-mongering a thing that right now isn’t really a thing we should be worrying about. Keep it up and I’ll stop recapping you two days after you air. And the seven people who read this recap will be super sad and mad at you. Do you really want to invite that kind of tepid backlash?
You need a timeout to think about the consequences of your actions. We can talk again next week.