Hardly a week goes by when we don’t see the words “sex,” “scandal,” and “lawyer” arranged together into some irresistible headline. While we love reading about lawyers behaving badly, one thing that continues to stump us is why a group of seemingly intelligent, obviously well-educated professionals appear to have such a knack for getting caught with their pants down.
Just look at national news stories to get an idea of what we’re talking about:
- The dean of Villanova law school, Mark Sargent, was forced to resign after authorities allegedly busted him for being a customer of a brothel. [Philadelphia Business Journal]
- Chief judge of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, Alex Kozinski, took it on the chin for publishing publicly accessible pornographic images. The story broke last year, but it resurfaced recently because a panel of federal judges issued a statement admonishing the jurist, saying “[Kozinski’s conduct] created a public controversy that can reasonably be seen as having resulted in embarrassment to the institution of the federal judiciary.” [Los Angeles Times]
- And then there’s always former New York governor Eliot Spitzer, who has been on a media blitz ever since the economy hit the skids. Sadly, most people still think of him as Client #9, which is too bad because there are certainly good opportunities these days for regulators who have a reputation for being tough on Wall Street. [Reuters]
But should these guys have really been caught? We think not. And let’s face it, it’s not easy finding favor once the forbidden is exposed. “92% of Americans said married men or women having an affair is morally wrong.”
So we’ve compiled some tips to help you keep your naughty business private. And before you go calling us sensational, it’s worth noting: Sex happens. A January Bitter Poll concluded that half of you assume that more than 25% of married lawyers are having affairs.
Not to mention the number of reader-submitted questions that keep Ex-Bitter busy dispensing experienced advice on everything from “I Did Coke and Slept with a Paralegal” to “I Made Out with a Married Associate.”
We make no promises these are foolproof, but they’re all steps in the right direction to staying under the radar. Consider this a public service announcement from Bitter Lawyer.