You know that here at Bitter Lawyer we love us some attorney-related videos. We dig the terribawesome commercials as much as we adore the inexplicable song parodies. We thought our love could never be tamed, and we would always find lawyer videos enjoyable. Then we had the misfortune to find the videos of one Jordan Margolis, an attorney who likes to don a hilariously bad homemade costume and make videos of himself mocking other people for their shortcomings. He calls himself Excuseman™. (No, really, with the trademark symbol and everything). He makes terrible videos where he…you know what? We’re not sure how to explain. Maybe he’s making fun of people who make excuses? Maybe he’s trying to give them better excuses? Maybe he’s just painfully unfunny?
Here he is on people with bad credit:
People who smoke weed:
People who speed:
See? We warned you. Margolis described this alter ego as some sort of personal responsibility crusader.
Excuseman’s goal was “to get those who mess up to ‘fess up,” Margolis told the Chicago Tribune. in a 2011 story about his alter ego. “Rather than play the blame game, if someone screws up I will nail them with a better excuse, so it’s a whimsical way to be a better person.”
You know, we’re just…not seeing it. Maybe because it turns out that Margolis wasn’t so great at being even a semi-decent person in terms of that whole attorney ethics thing.
The 61-year-old was indicted last week in a claimed series of thefts from client settlements that allegedly total some $1.1 million. Margolis was suspended from practicing in Illinois in 2013 after moving to California rather than fighting disciplinary charges, and he was disbarred in 2015, reports the Chicago Tribune. He has been in Los Angeles trying to make a new career for himself as a screenwriter, according to the newspaper.
Prosecutors say the Northwestern University law graduate was involved in a classic Ponzi scheme, using money he stole from more recent settlements to assuage those who had been waiting longer for their cases to pay off. Meanwhile, he allegedly siphoned client funds for his own expenses, including the cost of maintaining his Excuseman character.
Not even remotely sure what the cost of being a dude in a homemade costume who makes 30-second videos might be. Maybe it was the cost of the Segway rental?
Paying for ComicCon?
Getting out of costume to dispense advice about Valentine’s Day?
All of those things add up, sure, but probably not to seven figures, right? This dude better hope he’s got a book deal or something coming down the pike to cover those restitution costs.