As a professor at a state university, these are spot on. Excuses just piss us off; particularly the ones that claim you don’t have time to do an assignment you have known about for weeks if not months. At most 60% of our time is (according to our employers) meant to be dedicated to teaching. If we have say 10 grad students and 110 undergrads in classes (forgetting about advisees, interns, students who randomly want help, etc), that is at most 0.5% that we have for any individual student. We just don’t have that much time or energy to care. Complain to the legislature that has ridiculous requirements for us. Despite popular misconceptions that professors don’t work, the average professor works over 60 hours a week. That doesn’t actually change that much between pre-tenure and post-tenure faculty. Also, we don’t get the summers off!!!
The three things I hate hearing more than anything:
1. “Is it ok if I leave class early/miss class for such-and-such reason.” No. F*cking no. You are required to be here. I understand things come up, but I don’t need to know about them. And there is nothing more annoying than being asked to give consent to your missing class, which is, again, required for your assessment. Stop wasting my time.
2. “Did I miss anything (important).” Yes. Yes you did. I am not going to waste my time telling you about it. I post my lecture slides online, which you know, and you can get information from another student. Stop wasting my time.
3. Any question that can be answered by reading the course syllabus. Stop wasting my time.
Vienna Woods
I wish I could share this with my high school students.
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