Frank Wu: I Just Want to Be Feared

Bitter Staff / January 4, 2012 / Lawyer, Video / Leave a Comment

See more of the Bottom Rung on Bitter Lawyer, including a growing collection of characters who make up the dark and hilarious underworld of document review.

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Ellen

OMG! I can NOT fathom the concept of haveing this man on top of me! FOOEY!
Mean Partner

How about on the bottom?
Louise

I would not have sex, either on the top or the bottom with any man I worked with.
Guano Dubango

Here is a great joke that I heard from a pretty woman. It was funny when she told it because she was pretty. I believe that if the woman is pretty, the jokes are funnier than if she looks like a moose. Do you agree?

This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink.”

There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink.” She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender’s attention, and orders another.

The old man says, “Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants.” Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, “Sir, that’s nice of you, but how do you know she’s a ballerina?”

The old man answers, “Son, you don’t get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high.”
- Guano Dubango
  
  2 more for the road:
  
  “You need to stop masturbating,” the doctor says. The man asks, “Why?” The doctor replies, “Because I’m trying to examine you.”
  
  and
  
  A man sits down on the couch with his new girlfriend’s mother.. The family’s dog, Rocco jumps up on the couch with him.
  
  The man is so nervous that his stomach begins to hurt and — “Pfft!” — he accidentally lets out a little fart. He’s horrified until the mother yells out:”Rocco!”
  
  And the man thinks, she thinks it’s the dog!
  
  So he lets another one rip, and the mother again yells out: “Rocco!”
  
  Feeling confident now, the man lets out a really loud, big, fat, wet stinky fart — “PFFFFFFT!”
  
  At that point the mother yells very loudly: “Rocco! Come here NOW, before that pervert shits all over you!”