Adventures in Googlatio: The Deposition

Gregory D. Luce Columns, Lawyer 2 Comments

The following is a transcript of a witness deposition conducted by two California lawyers during an automobile personal injury lawsuit from July 2012. It is being reposted here on the web solely for educational purposes.

BY MR. DOUGLAS: For the record, please refer to me throughout this deposition
as "Pasadena Accident Attorney," except where I may deviate and use "Pasadena
DUI Lawyer" or "Skilled California Criminal Defense Lawyer Anaheim."

BY MS. HARRISON: Great comment, Pasadena Accident Attorney. While we are at it,
please use my own personal meta title of California DUI Lawyer. And, by
previous agreement between Pasadena Accident Attorney and myself, during
objections and asides, I will periodically interject a number of keywords,
such as car insurance quote, Vioxx, Rolex, Celebrex, and criminal
vehicular homicide lawyer.

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY. That's C-E-L-E-B-R-E-X. And Vioxx, as in class
action lawsuit Vioxx, is spelled V-I-O-X-X. Two X's.

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: Correct. Thanks for the clarification.

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: Sure, and I really appreciate that last comment,
California DUI Lawyer. I have been looking everywhere for something like it!
Thank goodness I heard it here.

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: Yes, Pasadena Accident Attorney, I am going to
bookmark my own comment and come back to it often. Reporter, please mark
the transcript.

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: Have you or a loved one been injured in a
California car accident, Pasadena automobile accident, or in an Orange
County car accident?

WITNESS: Are you asking me?

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: Yes. Yes, I am asking you. I'm not here to Ask Gary.
Reporter, please reread the last question, the one from experienced California
personal injury lawyer big recovery.

[Question Reread]

A: Um, yes.

Q: Was your toning shoe injury related in any way to---

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: Objection, foundation, misstates the facts. You asked,
and I quote "Have you or a loved one been injured in a California car accident,
Pasadena automobile accident, or in a Orange County car accident?"
Notwithstanding that you were not more specific---such as
specifying if it had anything to do with ca lemon law---he did not answer
that he specifically---

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: ---did you just say "Caw?" As in Caw? Like a crow?
Like "Caw, caw---

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: ---stop interrupting. I said CA, as in California, as
in laser hair removal California---

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: ---what's your point?

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: My point, my objection, actually, is that the witness
did not testify that he had a Sketchers toning shoe injury lawyer, none at
all. He did not say anything about a death claim electrical accident.
You cannot just, you know, go making things up here, Pasadena Accident Attorney.
For example, and solely for the purpose of providing this example, the
witness also did not say anything about mesothelioma symptoms, asbestos
exposure cancer, fire retardants, or California workers compensation
lawyers injury.

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: I don't recall this case being about good mesothelioma
lawyers nor about Navy veterans entitled to millions in damages.

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: It's not, this case is not, and that's my point.
This case is not about an asbestos compensation trust fund. It's not about
yahoo domain names. Christ! It's not about refinancing my home because of
bad credit!

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: With all due respect, Pasadena DUI Lawyer, you are,
like, being aggressive criminal defense lawyer federal at this point. This is my
deposition, not yours. Honestly, don't be such acid reflux disease.

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: Wow. I'm admiring the interval and trouble you put into
that. It's itemized and put forward. I will bookmark this. Thumbs up!

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: Just a sec. Umm, how many words are we at?

COURT REPORTER: The current transcript is just over 650.

PASADENA ACCIDENT ATTORNEY: Wow. Let's stop there. It's getting too long.

CALIFORNIA DUI LAWYER: We will read and post, the usual social media. What time
do you have on your big sale Rolex watches?

[Deposition Adjourned]

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  • Daphne Macklin

    Hm…shows just how bad it can get in the schoolyard without the monitor. Of course nothing beats the depo I attended as a student with the cop who was also an attorney attended the depo (wrongful death suit against the police department of a city that will remain nameless) as a City Attorney. He had his gun on in holster. Refused to put it in his car. So off we all went to Federal Court. He was replaced as the City Attorney handling the case that afternoon.

  • southern bitter

    these lawyers are douche bags.