How Mitt Saved Halloween (And Why Big Bird's Lawyers Are Haters)

Bitter Staff Lawyer, Old News 1 Comment

Lawyers for the large, yellow fowl are taking action against sellers of unlicensed costumes of the famous bird, who is enjoying a recent surge in popularity due to Mitt Romney’s reference to him/her during his first “debate” with President Obama. Romney stated that he would solve the deficit crisis by “hunting down and blasting Big Bird’s head off!” (Citation needed.) Lawyers are especially interested in the more adult versions of the character such as the Sassy Big Bird or “Exclusive Yellow Dress and Stockings” (sounds like they already got to the latter costume).

The worst part about Halloween is finding a clever, relevant  costume. It is a serious problem that occurs year after year after year and that no politician has been brave enough to tackle, including President Obama. As Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan stated this past weekend on Meet the Press, “What has President Obama done about this crisis? Absolutely nothing.” (Citation needed.) Oh sure, you may say Obama has been too busy winding down two major wars, hunting down and killing bin Laden, getting our economy back on track (ever so slowly), lowering the unemployment rate (ever so slowly), and passing landmark healthcare legislation. Big deal. Whatever misgivings you may have about Romney, the fact is that he has addressed the Halloween costume deficit crisis head-on by offering this great country at least one option in the form of that large, yellow bird.

God Bless you Mitt — and Big Bird. And shame on you, Big Bird’s lawyers, for trying to destroy the one great thing Mitt Romney has done for America — by trying to repeal his efforts to help Americans who are struggling to find a costume that isn’t “totally lame” this Halloween season.

Post image via Halloween Costumes.

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  • jeff

    Haha who would have though that a presidential debate would have spiked sales of Big Bird Costumes. I don’t what that says more about; How many people are influenced by the debate? or How is Big Bird still crushing it!