So, Kim Davis secretly met the Pope during his U.S. visit. Her attorneys claimed that it had happened a few days ago, igniting tabloid headlines, and today a spokesperson at the Vatican refused to deny the meeting, making real newspapers do a double take.
However, there are still tons of reasons to be skeptical of the claim made by the Kentucky court clerk mainly famous for going to great lengths to not do her job.
Firstly, Kim Davis’ own description of her secret meeting leaves something to be desired: “I put my hand out and he reached and he grabbed it, and I hugged him and he hugged me. And he said, ‘Thank you for your courage.’ ”
If this is the case, then Pope Francis has thousands of secret meetings, every day. Look at all of these secret meetings!
But let’s imagine, for a second, that Kim Davis is just understating her clandestine, cloak-and-dagger meeting with the supreme leader of the entire Catholic world, in an attempt to avoid media attention for her personal beliefs.
If we do manage it, some serious issues start to crop up.
For example, the meeting was alleged to have happened on Thursday afternoon, September 24. This is a weekday, and not a holiday, even in Kentucky. How did Ms. Davis get off from work? Did she use sick or vacation time? She can’t have much of either, having been in jail for contempt of court recently. Can Kentucky state officials just skip out of work and fly out to D.C. on a whim and still get paid? Can they languish in jail and not have to call in sick? Kentucky voters really need to rectify this issue.
Ms. Davis’ schedule aside, what about the Pope’s? He’s a busy man. Also, he’s a slow talker, so for there to have been a secret meeting with more than a dozen words, he’d have had to carve about an hour out of his day: An hour in which he was completely isolated from the media, which doesn’t happen in America when you’re the only news story of the week.
Which brings us to his schedule while in the U.S. It wasn’t exactly a light one, where he could fit in several secret meetings between his afternoon tea and evening jog. It also wasn’t a very flexible one, either: “The Holy Pontiff has had other plans come up, and we’ll be an hour or so late for his speech to the United States Congress. Our sincerest apologies.” For Ms. Davis to have a personal and legitimate meeting with the Pope at a reasonable hour, and all without the cameras seeing her, the options would have been limited. Possibilities include the car ride to the airport:
The White House:
Or in Congress, during the Pope’s speech, in code:
None of these situations seem like they’re very conducive to the kind of intimate meeting that Ms. Davis claims to have had.
Therefore, because of the Pope’s hectic schedule, there would be only one way for Ms. Davis to get the kind of close conversation that she claims to have had with the Pope without the media noticing: After hours, in secret, behind closed doors. Only then would the two of them be able to get away from the cameras. Only then would they have meet in secret to have the intimate discussion that…
Oh my God.
Kim Davis is cheating on her fourth husband with the Pope.