So you have decided to live the dream and hang your own shingle. You and some of your best colleagues are opening your own firm. Even though you trust these people enough to open a practice with them, one big issue stands between you and the launch of a successful law firm: picking the order of the partners’ names.
You could take the coward’s way out and go alphabetical, or subject yourself to hours of arguing over what “sounds best” (hint: everyone thinks the one with their name first sounds best). Or you could use any one of these awesome heuristics:
First Blood Water Gun Battle
If you’ve never shed blood in a water gun shootout, you’re not playing hard enough. Get the partners together in a combat-friendly arena, arm everyone with a high-capacity water propulsion weapon, and fight. First lawyer who makes another partner bleed through brutal H20 combat gets naming rights.
Write the partners’ names on ten pogs each. Each partner takes turns throwing a slammer onto the full stack. The partner whose name lands face-up the most wins naming rights. The partner whose name lands face-up the least gets the consolation prize of keeping all the pogs.
Develop a Name-Ordering Artificial Intelligence
The only way to farm out the “what sounds best” argument is to use a neutral third-party. It might sound like a lot of coding work, but keep in mind that licensing out Name-bot 3000 may end up making more money than your lousy DUI-defense firm ever does.
Order by Degree of Jewishness
In case it is not obvious: choosing whether you go most-to-least Jewish or least-to-most Jewish should depend on the demographics of your firm’s client market.
Five events, one champion:
- Ambulance Chasing
- Off-the-cuff Case Citing
- Day Drinking
- Billable Hour Padding
- Closing Statements
May the odds be ever in your favor.
(photo: professional young man holding business card via Shutterstock)