The weird thing about temping is that you never see the sonuvabitch partner who hired you. He’s always the same man, even if he’s a woman. And he always wants to know the same thing—”What’s your deal?”

Are you a degenerate alcoholic?
Are you bucking for a BigLaw job?
Are you crazy?
Are you hopeless?
Are you forever doomed to be the most ridiculous of life’s creatures, a six-figure temp?

But for once, I’ve found the sonuvabitch partner who hired me. Or rather, he’s found me. I endured his inquiry into my mental fitness, his probing questions about where precisely it was that I took the wrong fork in the road, his patronizing description of the case, as if I actually needed to know why Big Firm #1 was billing Money Bags Client “A” to sue Money Bags Client “B,” which is represented by my employer, Big Firm #2.

This is the man who put me right here on a Saturday night. Right here on the 44th floor of some forgettable office building downtown. Right here in this lifeless conference room, surrounded by boxes, choking on Sharpie fumes and stale paper.

“Would you like to go to dinner?” he asks. “My treat.”

And just as I’m about to accept, I realize he’s talking to the cute redhead I was hoping to ask out for drinks.

Temper(a)mental is written by a real legal temp. He has a license and a law degree. We checked. He’ll continue to post his “thoughts” in between doing “your work.”

  • Al Dickman

    This is the sad, but true, life of a legal temp.  You know the job market is tough when there are pretty female legal temps out there, and it is a given that the hornbag partners at those firms are always going to be sniffing around to try and find those babes first.

  • Nervous T-10 1l

    Temper(a)mental, where did you go wrong?

  • Frat Guy

    Nervous legal blog commenters in my high school used to defect to other legal blogs all the time.  It was no big deal.

  • FAIL

    this is boring and not funny. the bitter temp guy should stick to his temp job. bring back the big firm whore!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Del Vermo

    Not interested.  Don’t kid yourself, neither was the redhead.

  • Anonymous

    Not easy being a part-time loser.

  • Temp Hater

    Never manage a temp lawyer. It will take a little piece of your soul.

  • KVJ

    You hang in there.  And you laugh at the associates who wish they were you.  And tell themselves they’re better when they’re billing 2400 hours.  They need something to get them up in the morning! Because law is so rewarding and stuff.