I Have a Hot Date

Ex-Bitter Columns, Lawyer 12 Comments


QI have finally a super-hot date Saturday night, but I know—I just know—this insane loser partner will call some emergency document review. The stress of the unknown is consuming me. I work 80 hours a week, every week. I don’t even mind it. But I can’t blow this chick off. She’s too hot. I’m too horny.

AOn Monday, tell the “insane loser partner” that your parents will be in town for the weekend and you won’t be around on Saturday. Remind him or her again on Thursday. If you want to be an ass-kisser, you can say that you’re free to work on Sunday, if need be. But as for Saturday, no can do. Firm plans. Don’t budge.  Don’t cave. Partners are like insane ex-girlfriends/boyfriends: You need to establish firm boundaries, or they’ll ruin your life.

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  • Anonymous

    Better to just say you have a hot date and haven’t gotten laid in a while.  The partner probably hates his family and thinks it’s silly that you’d want to spend time with yours.  But, he can relate to needing the poontang.

  • Al Dickman

    Bring the hot chick into work if you have to.  You can promise to make it up to her.  If she’s really that hot, she’ll be worth the wait.

  • Bboy

    I like the advice about family in town.  In addition, I would turn off the b’berry Friday night and turn it back on Sunday morning after the date is over.

  • Ellie May

    Chick?  What rock have you crawled out from under? Chances are you’re a left over from the 70’s, when women were so labeled, and spread like margarine over hot toast.  Well we’re in the 21st century, were WOMEN, and guess what, it will take more than a nice dinner for us to part our legs, especially for guys like you who think a dinner will do it.  I suggest you get a sock and learn what to do with it, while you are working this Saturday nite, because no “chicks” ain’t gonna be there to help get you off.

  • The Realness

    Ellie should relax

  • Anon

    Sorry to break it to you, sweetie, but lots of people—both men and women—use the word “chick.” Isn’t this sort of a stale feminist refrain?  I mean, come on, is the word “chick” really that offensive to you?
    ps—I’m a “chick.”

  • Peter Gibbons

    Ellie May is the reason I don’t date lawyer chicks.

  • TJW

    Hey Ellie May you sound like a hot chick, want to go out… oops

  • Deuce

    Sounds like Ellie could use some sweet lovin’ herself

  • Anonymous

    Ellie could use a good humpin’

  • Shock and Awe

    Ellie is why the good lord invented anal sex.  Shut up, bitch.

  • Anonymous

    Shock & Awe, I am not sure any man would even want to go there.  She’s appears to be so stuck up that men wouldn’t want to find out how long that stuff has been in there, let alone dislodge any of it.  Sorry Ellie, but youre on your own as far as we are concerned.  UGH!