QI’m a first year law student at a top 15 school and I want a boob job. Bad. I just do. I’m attractive, but deep down, I know that I’d look much better with larger breasts. I also want to work in BigLaw when I graduate. After reading about Debrahlee Lorenzano the past week, I’m starting to second-guess my decision. Is there really such a thing as being too sexy for Corporate America?
ANo. Not as far as I’m concerned anyway. In fact, I encourage any and all gorgeous and sexy women to enter Corporate America immediately.
But breast augmentation is a slippery slope. There are appropriate BigLaw Boob Jobs and inappropriate BigLaw Boob Jobs. In other words, it’s okay to improve your physical presence, and hopefully your self-esteem, but don’t turn yourself into a stripper, err, exotic dancer. Or tits on a stick, as Ms. Lorenzano might say.
Not to sound like Dr. Phil or anything, but I truly believe that in the workplace, inner-confidence is a far more compelling attribute than physical appearance. So if getting an appropriate boob job helps build your self-esteem and makes you a more confident person, then go for it!
But please, follow these four simple Boob Implant Rules:
- Don’t get carried away with size. Think half-cup to a cup. Big enough that YOU feel better about your body, but not so big that you look like a Porn Star. Right or wrong, people DO judge women with enormous, fake boobs.
- Don’t fall madly in love with your new assets and start wearing super-tight shirts to announce their arrival. Like they say in football, “Act like you’ve been in the End Zone before.”
- Continue to wear bras even though you don’t have to. It’s easy to go au natural, and show off the perky boobs, but it’s a rookie move. You might as well just wear a sign on your back saying, “I just got implants!”
- Don’t tell co-workers! It’s easy to brag to gal pals about your courageous decision to improve your self-image and all, but don’t do it. Your less-endowed peers (and competitors) will write you off as a corporate hussy and throw you under the BigLaw Bus the first chance they get.