I’m Nervous About Working Out

Ex-Bitter Advice from an Ex-Bitter, Lawyer 5 Comments

Q My firm’s opening a new, free gym in the office just for our lawyers. At first I was psyched, but now I’m worried that if some partner sees me working out when he knows I have a ton of work to get done (for him), that I might be screwing myself?

A Partners can be assholes, but they’re not idiots. Assuming there’s not a mad-rush to put out a legal fire, or file something with the SEC or the Ninth Circuit, 90% of them couldn’t care less about about you spending an hour in the gym. As long as you get the work done, you’ll be fine. You can’t spend your career worrying about what other people think. Especially lawyers. Too many of them are irrational.  You’ll drive yourself insane. If you think you have enough time to go to the gym, then go.

PS: You may also want to consider my advice about showering with a partner.

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  • Al Dickman

    Check the hours, and if you must use it, try and use it either very early (before the fat assed partners roll in), or later in the evening (after the fat assed partners roll home).  You are right to be concerned.  Even in a non-firm environment, those that are seen as “regulars” at the gym are perceived as non-producers, and this is magnified in an environment where billing is king.  I suggest also watch closely who is going.  Just because some of the big partners go to the gym does not give license to snivveling associates to do the same.  They have earned the privileges of membership, while the rest of us douchebags have to work for a living.  Finally, DONT expect to find any pretty babes at a law firm GYM.  The best you can hope to find are women that look like Ellen DeGeneris and Rosie O’Donnell.  Those hardly qualify as worth losing your job for.

  • The Stuff

    Fuck that. Work out. I work out every day and look the part. Partners and Senior Associates envy me.  They assume because I work out at 5 pm every day, and come back to work till whenever that night that I must have a good handle on my shit. No one dares question me and if they did, who the fuck cares.
    Also, people in good shape generally get treated better, recieve the benefit of the doubt and are invited to more shit then the fat, slouchy douche bags who spend every moment in the office. Also I date hot girls, while they pray on fatties… life is more than fair when you figure out who #1 is, which should be you.

  • Alma Federer

    The Stuff, calm down.  You may be a stud, but you may well be unemployed soon with that attitude of yours.  Even accepting, arguendo, that you are in good shape, you seem bitter that some of the babes still go after the fatties.  Why?  Because their wallets are fatter than yours now, and may ever be with an attittude like yours.  Also, the focus here is on working out in the office facility.  It sounds like you go out elsewhere to tone your muscles.  I don’t think you would be as macho if you were using the firm facilities where the senior (fattie) partners might see you.  If you really have a set of balls, you wouldn’t have to vent here.  Go exercise the muscles between your ears some and you may well wind up with a real hottie; not the type you blow up at nite.

  • The Stuff

    No anger here, I am just respectfully disagreeing with your opinion (that is if your Al Dickman).  I am not here to stack up the ass I slay or vent here. I am just giving a helpful tip and varying opinion to some one who wants to enjoy the company gym.

  • Anonymous

    Interesting interplay.  I think one should be physically fit.  I also think one has to be professional.  The trick is to be able to marry the two without getting any kind of attitude on either side.  Get your work done first (since this is what they pay you for); then go work out, rather than go to a bar or watch TV.  You may well get “hot” dates by doing so.