I’ve been struggling with something for awhile now (actually, since 1/3 of the way through my first stint as a summer associate in Big Law), and I was hoping the universe might be able to offer some guidance. See, I want to be a positive person who radiates enthusiastic energy and gives off good vibes and all that. Not only because it would be good for my overall well-being, but also because it would probably be pretty helpful in attracting solid potential husband candidates. But the problem is, it seems like every single aspect of practicing law is completely antithetical to building a good aura and balanced chakras and whatnot.
Apparently, the best way to center yourself and clear out frantic, panicked, negative energy is to take time to center yourself by meditating, practicing yoga, eating fresh and wholesome foods, surrounding yourself with positive people and things, and fostering patience. I swear I don’t intend to sound like I’m whining, but I can’t figure out how to squeeze in time for meditation, yoga, and home-cooked vegetables when I spend about 75 hours each week at the office surrounded by nasty, impatient assholes who fuel themselves with adrenaline and screaming fits. And it’s not like I can follow the advice of the self-help books I buy online and cut these negative people out of my life, because they are my bosses and co-workers and they are at pretty much every firm that’s worth a damn, i.e. pays well.
The other difficulty I keep encountering is that I think that I somehow absorb the negative, toxic energy that I come into contact with. If an evil partner sends me a nasty-toned email, or if I spend the day working with a bitchy senior associate who is miserable about her life and takes it out on me, it’s as if some unseen magnet sucks all of the energy and life out of me, and I’m left feeling exhausted, emotionally depleted, and totally un-centered. On a day like that (and, let’s face it, most of my days are like that), I feel so lifeless by the time I’m able to leave the office that the last thing I want to do is go to a yoga class or cook myself a healthy dinner or socialize. So it becomes this awful, never-ending cycle.
So, what I would like to know is whether it’s possible to remain in Big Law and somehow deflect this toxic energy and keep it from swallowing me whole? I honestly can’t think of even one centered, patient person who radiates positive energy at my firm. Does that attorney exist? Does anyone know how to stay positive and be upbeat and cheerful in the Big Law context, or am I right that it’s impossible?
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