Admittedly, I probably didn’t start out as a great decision maker. I consult a Magic 8 Ball to decide trivial things like, “should I go to the pool today?” I do opinion polls via SnapChat about what nail polish to use.
But law school made the problem much worse. Years of “it depends,” and essay exams with no right or wrong answer and multiple choice questions with a “most right” answer have addled my brain. I can’t count the number of professors who have spouted some variation of, “I don’t care what conclusion you make, so long as you make a conclusion. What I care about is analysis, seeing that you carefully considered both sides.” Well, I’ve got the weighing of both sides down. Hell, I’ve got that in spades.
Weighing both sides of an issue is great. It’s important. It makes you thoughtful and well informed and less quick to judge. But anyone who took the risk of actually making a decision on a final exam, after all that careful consideration, and came down too hard on the “wrong” side of an issue knows the burn of making the wrong decision. My automatic response to “where do you want to eat?” has become “what do you feel like?” because I’ve spent 3 years catering my answers to questions to what each professor wants.
I blame law school for my current level of indecisiveness. I knew things had really gone off the tracks when I was at the supermarket recently. I had twenty 8oz yogurts in my basket. Why? Two different brands were on sale, and I couldn’t commit to just one. I knew I liked my usual brand, but the other brand had more flavors and was less expensive. Which was the best? It depends.
But, here’s one of the few things in my life that I have decided with certainty. The shirt my dad got me for Christmas my 2L year that says, “I used to be indecisive but now I’m not sure” is not even remotely as funny as he thinks it is.