BREAKING NEWS: According to a recent survey, if given the choice, most Big Firm lawyers would prefer to date people devoid of intelligence or ambition rather than their hardworking, high-earning BigLaw contemporaries.
We here at Bitter Lawyer conduct a daily poll on the homepage to take our audience’s temperature on various topics close to the heart of the legal community. It’s hardly scientific, but the results generally fall within a range we’d expect; however, yesterday’s poll got us thinking.
WHO WOULD YOU RATHER DATE?
SOCIALITE / TRUSTIFARIAN – 43%
UNEMPLOYED MODEL / ACTOR – 36%
BIG FIRM LAWYER – 21%
Bitter Lawyer inquires: Did those polled simply skim the question and quickly knee-jerk with an impulsive response, or is it true that only 21 percent of Bitter Lawyers find their own type erogenous? With almost 80 percent of the field keen on dating family bank accounts and people who smile for a living—with nary a hint of attraction to their Big Firm colleagues—theories abound as to why.
One possibility could be that those polled are simply bored with themselves and would prefer to socialize with people who have backgrounds different from their own. Another hypothesis could be old-fashioned common sense, given the fact that dating within one’s professional circle is often fraught with disaster.
But it could also be argued that the answers weren’t carefully thought out. It’s possible that many of those who responded never fully consider the implications of their choice. Namely, had 43 percent people even heard the term Trustifarian before yesterday? While a boarding school flunky going by the “poser hippy” name Echo might sound sexy, when you’re having your face sketched in indigo ink onto the head of a bongo drum while chillaxing in a yurt somewhere west of Denver, is that the date you voted for?
Not to mention, not all socialites are created equal. While Paris Hilton may be the entitled lifestyle’s poster child (she’s not ready to date yet anyway), most party people aren’t that good looking. All the money and blond extensions in the world can’t really fix bad genetics. And why’s that? Because most rich men (who they call “daddy”) are ugly.
And do we really need to discuss the reality of the word “unemployed,” much less it’s relation to, say, a model or an actor?
The most obvious reason, to Bitter Lawyer anyway, appears to be self-hate—a regular culprit in many ill-informed dating choices.
But does that mean lawyers hate themselves more than, well, anyone else?
Quite possibly, yes.
Consider this recent comment on BitterLawyer.com from a poster identified by the handle 1L: “Wow. I keep getting surprised [by] the amount of hatred and negative energy that comments on this site generate.”
Comments like that may be the result of a never-ending BigLaw grind that appears to have some lawyers wishing they had never gone to law school.
“Law schools pull young altruists in with promise of the opportunity to be Erin Brockovich with a law degree, or an adept Matlock, quickly pulling a curtain in front of the $150,000 to $200,000 they will incur in debt by touting BigLaw salaries that can pay that kind of thing down in just a few years,” a reader going by Realist wrote in response to another article. “Sure you can go to the P.D. or the D.A. in a few years! Sure you’ll have the experience necessary to do anything other than color code documents or carry lit bags to court! Just sign right here. In blood.”
With news of layoffs and evaporating bonuses, that kind self-loathing may likely grow in the coming year. But for those lucky enough to hang onto their high-paying jobs through the economic downturn, the temptation to sign in blood will only go up, provided that law firms don’t start favoring lawyer couples when its time to hand out partnerships.
So we turn it back over to you, Bitter men and women. Are you still content with your decision? Are the superficial trappings of sharing a smoke at Beatrice Inn, deep conversations with destitute sensitive types and shiny arm candy worthy of “dating” status? Or is that associate with the nice smile you ambivalently cruise by on your way to your coffin-like office maybe worth a second look?