Loose Ends, 11-19-08

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

A Vegas club promoter filed a libel lawsuit against the author and publisher of “Hot Chicks with Douchebags” (a book based on the website).  He claims his appearance in the book has subjected him to hatred and ridicule from friends and strangers who now call him “douchebag.” But in all fairness, he’s never referred to in the book as a douchebag.  Sure, he gets a shout out for being “so far beyond regular douche, so far beyond uberdouche, he could spontaneously create a new element on the periodic tables–Douche Nine.” But never “douchebag.” [The Smoking Gun]

Largest hostile cash takeover in history?  Today we salute you, Mr. In-Bev’s Purchase of AB Maker Happeners.  [Am Law Daily]

The Jacksons are officially the sickliest siblings in showbiz.  After Janet canceled plenty ‘o tour dates due to vertigo (likely onset: anemic ticket sales), now “Jacko” Michael is allegedly too sick to travel to London to testify in court (likely onset: getting-your-creepy-ass-sued-off-and-going-dirt-poor-itis).  [The New York Times]

With the presidential election over, William Ayers is playing spin-doctor.  His “domestic terrorist” past and association with then-candidate Obama was an election liability.  But after a Good Morning America appearance last week dishing his side of the story, Ayers turned up at Georgetown University Law School Monday night to address students.  His appearance was even controversial enough for Northwestern to cancel a panel with him on their campus this Thursday due to security concerns.  It’s reported that “[w]hile Ayers spoke, two students silently protested his speech by turning their backs on the speaker.” Like these guys, perhaps?  [WJLA.com]

Since America is relatively scandal and hoax depraved lately, Gawker found a way to turn New York bar results into tabloid fodder.  Prozac Nation author and Yale Law School graduate Elizabeth Wurtzel did not pass July’s exam, but she seemingly took a chill pill in response to the media about her results.  (Maybe she took counsel from Ex-Bitter.) [Gawker.com]

It’s fee-sible that Alvarez & Marsal might get rich by liquidating a belly-up Lehman.  [Bloomberg]

Wheelchair-bound Jarek Molski “filed more than 400 suits under the Americans With Disabilities Act before a federal judge barred him from future litigation… Molski was traveling abroad and couldn’t be reached for comment.” Because he was likely preparing to sue the shit out of Europe.  [Los Angeles Times]

“A federal grand jury indicted [Massachusetts] state Senator Dianne Wilkerson yesterday on eight counts of attempted extortion.” But she claims she cannot afford a lawyer.  [Boston.com]

Maybe this free legal advice could be helpful, Sen. Wilkerson: