Loose Ends, 11-24-08

Bitter Newsroom Lawyer, News & Views 1 Comment

Quick headlines from the Bitter Newsroom:

Every lawyer is anxiously trying to avoid being an economic casualty right now, which has inspired a new trend of Big Firm-ers heading off to foreign law offices, mainly in the Middle East, to keep profits up in other markets.  But if China is your new attorney home, you might not want to wield around our weekend music pick (Loose Ends, 11-21-08).  First impressions are pretty important.  [New York Times]

Deck the halls—the holiday season is officially here.  And since lawyers don’t know how to emotionally connect with anything unless it directly speaks to their profession, is spreading Christmas cheer to the stunted law masses with a new law-related holiday album that’s sure to please the gentile esquire in all of us.  Since you want everything to remind you about your job (afterall, it’s the only thing that defines you as a person), pump up the volume and put “It’s Gonna Be A Billable Christmas” on repeat.  No word on a Hanukah CD counterpart, which is a bummer because “Maccabean Rainmaker” and “So Many HLS Loans, Not Enough Gelt” would be h-o-t tracks.  []

It’s not an entirely bad time to be a lawyer—while the gig might be a little boring, at least you’re never really called a fraud.  Wall street has officially ended its boom and has gone “boom boom.” Which is maybe not a surprise if you think about the power and rule a lot of 24-year-old inexperienced kids had dispensing advice.  Author Michael Lewis writes about his experiences and how “[s]ooner rather than later, there would come a Great Reckoning when Wall Street would wake up and hundreds if not thousands of young people like me, who had no business making huge bets with other people’s money, would be expelled from finance.” [Portfolio]

Pardon to the people.  Meet the cast of misfits looking for a wave of the Bush Presidential wand.  Some have changed the face of America with their misdeeds (Junk Bond King Michael Milken), while others (Marion Jones) have minor pleas.  []

“A man who passed himself off as a lawyer while operating a Phoenix office called ‘Divorce with Dignity’ has been sentenced to more than 15 years in prison.” Emphasizing that dignity rarely has a place in the legal world.  []

And in the feel-good story of the year, an 81-year-old lawyer is still practicing because, as he says, “What else am I going to do?” It warms to heart to see that risk aversion plagues even the most senior of lawyers.  []

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  • LawTunes

    Thanks for the suggestion.  I’m half Jewish, so I might just try it.  For now, see “Let ‘Em Sue,” The Lawyer’s Holiday Humor Album, Track 2 (1998) ( “A spinning dreidel can drive you dizzy/But your lawsuit will keep me busy/It’s the best present from me to you/So Let ‘Em Sue, Let ‘Em Sue, Let ‘Em Sue.”).  Happy (Legal) Holidays!