The art of successfully commanding a beer bong is one that is cultivated over time. It usually starts around junior year in high school, but then the real hard work and time commitment comes in college. It’s not something you just pick up and think you can perfect. You must respect the beer bong or it will make you pay–by drenching every square inch of clothing you have on and possibly the clothes of everyone around you (if you’re a spitter).
So what are you to do if you are a boy-wonder pop star whose chance at any type of normal social interaction was wrecked by the age of 13? That’s right, we’re talking about Justin Bieber. Again. And his involvement in a lawsuit. Again. Biebs didn’t get to attend any backyard parties with his classmates, no post-homecoming-game parking-lot beer fests. He bypassed that route and went straight to blunts and cough syrup with opportunistic bottom feeders.
The point is, you can’t blame the guy for being a complete failure at chugging a beer bong. Bieber was hanging out at Cle nightclub in Houston last month with hip-hop artist Post Malone, doing regular-guy stuff like pretending to extinguish his cigarette on Post’s arm.
As an encore, Bieber then grabbed a beer bong and gave it a shot…in front of everyone. According to witness Robert Earl Morgan, it didn’t go well and you could tell he was “clearly a novice.” As expected, the sweet nectar went all over JB’s face and clothes. And that made him real mad, especially after he realized Morgan had caught the entire spectacle on his phone. Bieber quickly yanked the phone out of Morgan’s hand and smashed it on the ground.
So now Morgan is suing Bieber for $100,000. Sound high for a cell phone? Well, Morgan never got his SIM back, and it contained things like photos from his grandma’s 100th birthday. How can you replace that? It’s not easy for a 100-year-old woman to blow out candles, OK?
So anyway, Bieber, let the Beer Bong All Stars show you how it’s done, son.