My Biggest (Dis)Appointment

Bitter and Abused Columns, Lawyer 5 Comments

This story is dedicated to all you associates who earn three times more than me and complain about your lives.  A little perspective is always refreshing.

I am the only associate in a small family law firm.  The senior partner of the firm has been practicing for 30+ years, yet somehow has managed to avoid both learning the law and trying complicated cases.  (That’s my job apparently.) On top of that, he’s an egomaniacal sociopath.  Among his favorite things to do is to question the intelligence of his staff (myself included) in front of clients, other lawyers, judges, etc.  He seizes on any opportunity to say or do something degrading to the people who work for him.  It’s no coincidence that the turnover rate at my firm is high.

Today, I set up a meeting, complete with videographer, for our client and her husband-to-be to execute a prenuptial agreement.  (The partner loves to showboat for clients, except in court when there’s a chance he’ll be exposed for the fool that he is.) The partner wanted me in on this meeting so I could witness his astounding brilliance and then notarize the prenups.  Naturally, the clients were running late so the meeting did not start on time.  While waiting, I decided to leave my office to go to the restroom.

I wasn’t gone two minutes when I hear the door to the restroom swing open and the distinct sound of the partner’s loafers clicking on the tile floor.  (The partner has an unmistakable gait, and this is not the first time he has stormed into the restroom looking for me.  And bear in mind that the restroom on my floor is public, so there are other people using the facility as all of this is transpiring.) The partner bellows, “Are you in here?!?!” I mumble, “Uh, yeah.” He continues, “Well the videographer is here and so are the clients.  We’re all waiting on YOU!  Hurry up!” I respond, “Okay.” He then says he is going to tell the clients that I am “finishing up a meeting.” That’s when someone else in the restroom who’s witnessed all of this chuckles and says, “Tell them he’s taking an appointment.” The partner retorts, “Yeah, it’s the biggest one HE’LL have all day.”

So here I sit, underpaid, underappreciated and underwhelmed.  I’m sending out my resume next week.  Maybe the next lawyer job will come with enough money to make the inevitable abuse tolerable.  Or maybe I’ll go into teaching.

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  • Al Dickman

    You have my sympathies.  The key word here you used is “Family” law firm.  Since this dillweed is a member of the “family”, he has been able to skate by without having to be competent.  Poor schlubs like you are brought in to do the work.  I hope you land a better job elsewhere.  Make sure to figure out a good trick to pull after you leave that will humiliate this douche bag.  Best of luck getting out of that shit-hole.

  • Anon

    I think family goes together with law as in “family law,” rather than a law firm that is a family.

  • Anonymous

    I usually do not agree with Al he-is-a-dickman, but in this case…when you leave…make sure you do it in style. Something to embarass him would be great.

  • Professional

    I know it’s tough but hang tough. Next time he’s in the bathroom and pulls that stunt, if you can pull it off, go into the stall, so you can be REALLY quiet in case he follows you in there. A man is entitled to a little peace and privacy. If he follows you and bellows, just be REALLY quiet, stops your stream, don’t even breathe (at least don’t breathe normally) until he leaves. He will give up. Hopefully whoever is in there will get the hint ans say something like, “I’m the only one in here.” in the courtroom, If you are professional, you will be treated like a professional by those around you and if he continues to maintain his idiocy, he will be treated like an idiot.. Just be calm. I suggest taking up religion. I know it’s an odd suggestion but prayer and meditation and a little venting can go a long way.

  • Betty Bitter

    I am really sorry, but this story is an instant classic!  Only the lowest form of a-hole lawyers follow their associates into the bathroom.
    One of my old bosses used to send people in to find us, since thankfully, he respected the rules of gender and would not go in for us himself. He, however, had no problem dictating in the men’s room, so his poor assistant would have to listen to him crapping while transcribing his useless letters aimed at nothing more than billing the client a .3!
    Good luck to you!