It’s simple. Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time. At least that’s how we learned it back in 1L, and that’s how it works for most people who break the law. But at the end of every Presidency, we get a bitter reminder that some people don’t have to play by the rules because some people get a Presidential pardon or a commutation of their sentence.
In practice, a pardon means the removal of all disability or punishment, but we just think it means you got one over on Lady Justice. Ditto for a commutation. So in Lady’s defense, here are the nine most outrageous pardons and commutations that remind us why we remain bitter (or at least cynical).
1. George Steinbrenner
In 1974, allegations surfaced that “The Boss” had gotten himself mixed up in some illicit dealings with the committee to reelect President Nixon. An indictment for obstruction of justice and illegal campaign contributions followed, and Major League Baseball ended up suspending Steinbrenner for 15 months and fining him $15,000.
President Ronald Reagan pardoned the Yankees’ owner, but fans will likely never forgive him for a laundry list of baseball offenses. [The New York Times]
2. Jimmy Hoffa
When he agreed not to “engage in direct or indirect management of any labor organization,” President Nixon pardoned Teamster boss Jimmy Hoffa, cutting short his 15-year prison sentence for jury tampering and fraud. That was back in 1971. Four years later, Hoffa would become the poster boy for disappearing acts. Guess he would’ve been safer in prison. [Time.com]
3. Richard Nixon
When the President does it, it’s not illegal, especially when his successor says it’s all good. While most pardons have the stink of nepotism, we’re just surprised that Nixon didn’t try to do it himself before leaving the Oval Office. That would’ve been a Dick move. [Time.com]
4. Peter Yarrow
Remember the folk group Peter, Paul and Mary? Well, it turns out Mary didn’t do it for Peter. He liked young girls. Very young girls. In 1970, he was convicted of taking “improper liberties” with a 14-year-old fan. But he got a sympathetic ear from a guy who knew a thing or two about lust when President Carter pardoned him. What’s surprising is that Roman Polanski didn’t try his luck with Mr. Peanut. [CNN.com]
5. Junior Johnson
This one just sounds like a bad idea for a Dukes of Hazard sequel. Junior Johnson was a NASCAR legend, but he was also a man haunted by his past, which included a 1956 conviction for making moonshine. After thirty years of suffering (all Johnson said he wanted to do was vote and travel abroad), President Reagan pardoned him. Now, we know making moonshine is a crime; we just didn’t know that anyone did it after prohibition was eliminated. Was the store out of Wild Turkey that fateful day in 1956, Junior? [The New York Times]
6. John Forte
Who knew George W. Bush was so cool? Fugee producer John Forte did, apparently. After serving half of his 14-year sentence, Bush pardoned the hip-hop artist, who maintained his innocence despite the fact that federal agents caught him loading $1.4 million worth of cocaine into a taxi. So, to be clear, a guy whose group, the Fugees, released an album called The Score says he never even tried cocaine, and he gets a pardon. Talk about getting by with a little help from your friends. [WSJ Law Blog]
7. Roger Clinton
Proving that he is, in fact, his brother’s keeper, Bill Clinton pardoned his brother, Roger, who had served more than a year in prison for distributing a gram of cocaine. But we’re pretty sure nepotism had nothing to do with it. Just like we’re certain Bill Clinton did not have sex with that woman. [Chicago Tribune]
8. Lewis “Scooter” Libby
Libby was convicted of obstruction of justice and perjury in an investigation into the leak of a CIA operative’s identity, but George W. Bush commuted his sentence before Libby served any time. While a lot of people suspect that Bush pardoned Libby for partisan reasons, the truth is that putting a dude named “Scooter” in the pen is tantamount to a death sentence. [Chicago Tribune]
9. Marc Rich
Of all the pardons granted by Bill Clinton on his way out of the White House, none was more controversial than Marc Rich who was indicted in 1983 on charges of tax evasion and illegally trading oil with Iran.
The case has been reported to death, but it resurfaced again as a thorn in the side of Obama’s nominee for Attorney General, Eric Holder, who played a role in the pardon process while serving in the Clinton administration. But what’s been underreported is that Rich enjoyed 15 years of legal representation from another guy on this list—Lewis “Scooter” Libby, who was his lawyer from 1985 to 2000. Now, that’s bipartisan politics in action. [Slate]
Check out other lists, tallies and scores to settle in Bitter by Numbers.