One Day, Zero Nights in Majorca

I just arrived in Majorca, Spain, dreams of paella, sangria and long overdue sex on my mind.  I’d been working round the clock on some stupid merger for three months.  I’d barely seen my fiancée for weeks—and she was seconds away from returning the expensive ring I’d just bought for her.  So I planned a two-week trip to Spain (with the partner’s prior consent) to reconnect with the woman of my dreams—and my humanity.

First stop:  Majorca.  We arrived at 6 am Saturday morning.  I was overwhelmed by the beauty, the tranquility, the lack of noise… The hotel was even more beautiful than the website suggested.  We stepped into the lobby, smiling ear-to-ear, uttering I love you’s all over the place.  Until the woman at the front desk told me I had a message waiting for me from a Mr. Pell, i.e., the partner in charge of the merger deal from hell.  My heart started thumping, as my fiancée’s voice began to tremble.  “Whatever you do, don’t call him back.  Please.  Just ignore it.” But I couldn’t.  I had to know what he wanted.  Maybe he just needed a question answered—or just wanted to say “hi.” Nope.  He wanted me to get on a plane and return to New York right away.  Deal had just gone haywire.  All hands on deck.  When I broke the news, my fiancée—er, ex-fiancée—started crying.  We then got back in the cab, drove to the airport and flew home. She moved out nine days later.

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  • Duncan

    As well she should have.

  • nolaw123

    My boyfriend’s response after reading this… “she should have been more understanding.” He is a lawyer-to-be.  Lovely.

  • ex lawyer

    get out now, baby.

  • SeniorAss

    Big deal?  For a client emergency the client should cover your cost to re-book the trip after the emergency is handled.  She couldn’t wait a few weeks to go back?  What a bitch.  You can’t guarantee the timing, but you can still do it later.  If you joined a big law firm without knowing there’s no such thing as an interruption-free vaca, you’re a moron.

  • Another associate

    Senior Ass lives up to his name.

  • Jim in L.A.

    You should have just said NO.  Instead, you’re alone now & will remain alone, bitch to a master who will continue to abuse you for sport, because you encourage it.  Think they want you to have a life outside the office?  A wife, kids?  Your health?  Of course not – they want you billing, making them more money, 18 hours a day, 365 days a year, until you drop.  I assure you, they were well aware of what these demands would do to what little personal life you had left, and gleefully did it anyway.  Most BigLaw partners would chop you up & sell your body parts if they could get away with it, and if you let them, they’ll destroy you, piece by piece over time. To them, making you suffer is both business AND pleasure.

  • SuperTemp

    What social life? Isn’t that the first thing you sign over when you agree to work at a big firm? Nay when you decide to go to law school.  I think the ex should have been more understanding, she knew who she was getting involved with.

  • They get what they pay for

    IMO, she did him a favor.  It’s not like his job at this firm is going to get easier down the road, not until he’s like 50 and the kids are in college (and therapy).  This fiancee liked the idea of marrying a rich, powerful attorney, but not the actual lifestyle that goes with it (as opposed to the fantasy one from TV).  When she realized what she was in for, she bailed.  Better that than waiting until a year after the wedding and divorcing him.  I’d be much more worried about the kind of person who would actually stay with a person working 18-hour days.  What kind of life is that?

  • Law Clerk

    I am just out of law school, so I don’t know shit about shit. But i do know I would have told the partner to buzz off. That’s fucking ridiculous, and dude, if you weren’t before, you are now his bitch. Congrats.

  • lives with a lawyer

    to bitter and abused- don’t you see the pattern? you keep letting them abuse you, so they go farther each time. first it was the wedding, then the weekend away, and then you flew back from spain? are you insane? if i were her, i would have stayed in majorca and banged every guy there to teach you a lesson.
    this is vaguely (very) like pledging a fraternity, you do not answer your phone if you don’t have to.  you should have left early the day of the wedding, so you didn’t get caught in your office. never answered your phone before the hamptons, and said you didn’t get the message from the hotel; something about the language barrier.  what’s next, getting called away from a funeral?
    there are other firms out there that you can work at for a little less money, but actually have a life.

  • WallStreetPerson

    Wow. Is this real? I feel terrible for you.

  • Seattle Attorney

    She wouldn’t have loved you if you were broke and didn’t have a job anyway.  You made the decision you thought you had to make at the time.  It’s called being an adult.  Sorry she left you.

  • law student Z

    This isn’t associate abuse, this is associate cowardice.  You decided your job was more important than your fiancee.  You said she was the “woman of [your] dreams” yet you chose your job over her.  Good for her having the sense to leave someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her.
    Now that they know you have no spine, your bosses will never let you have a moment’s free time.  So have fun working 90 hour weeks until you decide to grow a pair.

  • Al Dickman

    Good riddance.  Remember that if a beeotch is such a whiner early on that she’ll only get worse—and uglier.  Hence, what might seem like a loss now just wont 15 years from now after this cute 110 pound waif turns into a 150 pound hunk of tough meat with sags and a bigger mouth than ever.  Chalk it up to experience. If she loved you she would put up with the difficult times.  We do the same for the women we love.  The losers can just shove off.

  • what everyone else is missing

    WHY ON EARTH DID YOU LEAVE THE NUMBER TO THE HOTEL?!?!?!  Rule #1 about taking pre-noticed more-than-one-week vacations at BigLaw: always be “moutain climbing” “backpacking” or “hiking” or somehow totally out of blackberry and cell range and DO NOT LEAVE ANY OTHER CONTACT INFO.  Just turn on your out-of-office and roll with it.  Trust me, they could’ve found someone else.  When and if we ever get to the point where we are completely indispensable to a case or a deal, we should have a corner office.  Until then, you need to learn how to slyly be “out of touch” for a while without sticking in the partner’s face.  That way, if the poo hit the fan while you were away – you can pull the “OHMIGOSH – if I’d known, I would’ve flown right back.” and return to working 20 hours a day.  Consider it a valuable lesson learned.
    And, my own two cents is that you are better off without her.  Good riddance – she needs to accept you and your job if you were the one who was going to be paying the majority of the bills.

  • Anonymous

    Part of why lawyers are paid so much is compensation for being on-call 24/7.  I’m sure the ex didn’t mind enjoying the fancy dinners and jewelry the law firm gig paid for.  She just didn’t want to deal with the downside.  Total bitch.
    If he had stayed in Spain and lost his job, she would have left him anyways.  Good call on his part to at least keep his job.

  • What are you kidding me… if my boss finds out…

    Oh man… I feel for ya, but at least you’re getting paid for to take the abuse. Not a lawyer yet but damn near close enough! I’m practicing law for 15 bucks an hour!! It’s a sick joke (with the accompanying clients bitching and complaining about blah blah blah.) But these guys are right, its a good thing she left, take it from me… divorces are f$%#%@ expensive!

  • Hank

    Same thing happened to me. Except it was Bangkok and I did fly First on the way back, sticking it to the Firm, on an excuse that “economy and biz were full”, so my wife thought it was pretty hillarious all things considered.

  • ExCrimLawyer

    You got dumped because your ex-fiancee could no longer respect you.  She needed to know that you were man enough to stand up to that troll and get your life back.