[Ed. Note: This piece by a “38-year-old partner at a prestigious firm” resulted in a four-part impromptu Partner v. Associate debate with frequent Bitter Lawyer commenter BL1Y, who is a recently laid-off BigLaw associate. The four parts can be read in this order:
1. “Partner to Associates: Stop Being ‘Entitled, Whiny Pussies’”
2. “Associate to Partners: Shut Up About Us Being ‘Entitled’”
3. “Partner to BL1Y: Associates are ‘Self-Absorbed Egotists.’”
4. BL1Y to Partner: Associates Like to Work Hard, Not Stupid]
Top firms used to be populated with ambitious, sleep-deprived deal junkies gunning for partner. Now they’re overflowing with entitled, whiny pussies. Yes, pussies. And I mean that in a gender-neutral, non-sexual way.
What I’m really saying is that I’m sick and tired of listening to a bunch of average, self-impressed, Ivy-credentialed BigLaw associates complain about their jobs—especially on websites like this one. Just today, a third-year corporate associate pulled me aside, his eyes misty with fatigue and stress.
“I’m not sure if I can keep working at this pace,” he said, on the verge of tears.
I just looked at him and walked away. For the record, if this clown keeps working at the unsustainable pace he’s complaining about for the next two months, he’ll bill a whopping 1950 hours this year.
Like I said, associates these days are pussies.
I’m a 38-year-old partner at a prestigious firm. I’m not a genius. I’m not a total asshole. I’m not a workaholic. I’m just tired of the incredulous, self-pitying looks of shock and horror every time an associate making $185,000 learns he or she has to work past 8:30.
When I was an associate, I billed about 2300 hours a year. In busy years, I billed more. In slower years, I billed less. Like every other BigLaw equity partner, I missed plenty of fun dinners and weekend barbecues. Believe me, I was never thrilled about this. But I didn’t cry about it either. I wanted to make partner.
I know lots of you smug, work-allergic associates out there don’t want to make partner. I get it. It’s beneath you. I understand. But that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to work less than lawyers who actually want to accomplish something with their lives. Contrary to what you might think, law firms aren’t training programs for other, more interesting or lucrative careers. It’s not our job to make sure you self-actualize. As long as you’re getting paid, your job is to do what partners ask you to do. Your job is to do the mindless, uninteresting, hour-intensive work that partners don’t have time to do—or don’t want to do. If that’s not good enough for you, then you should quit your goddamn job the second you read this screed.
Despite what the Ivory Tower blowhards up in Cambridge tell you, law is a business. It’s not some intellectual, noble calling. It’s just a job. So if the idea of being a piece of meat or a document processor makes you feel marginalized or hurts your lofty, over-inflated sense of self, then hurry to the closest exit and get out! That way, I won’t have to fire you.
* Click here to read, “Associate to Partners: Shut Up About Us Being ‘Entitled’” submitted in response to this piece by frequent commenter BL1Y.
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Top firms used to be populated with ambitious, sleep-deprived deal junkies gunning for partner. Now they’re overflowing with entitled, whiny pussies. Yes, pussies. And I mean that in a gender-neutral, non-sexual way.
What I’m really saying is that I’m sick and tired of listening to a bunch of average, self-impressed, Ivy-credentialed BigLaw associates complain about their jobs—especially on websites like this one. Just today, a third-year corporate associate pulled me aside, his eyes misty with fatigue and stress.
“I’m not sure if I can keep working at this pace,” he said, on the verge of tears.
I just looked at him and walked away. For the record, if this clown keeps working at the unsustainable pace he’s complaining about for the next two months, he’ll bill a whopping 1950 hours this year.
Like I said, associates these days are pussies.
I’m a nearly-40 partner at a prestigious firm. I’m not a genius. I’m not a total asshole. I’m not a workaholic. I’m just tired of the incredulous, self-pitying looks of shock and horror every time an associate making $185,000 learns he or she has to work past 8:30.
When I was an associate, I billed about 2300 hours a year. In busy years, I billed more. In slower years, I billed less. Like every other BigLaw equity partner, I missed plenty of fun dinners and weekend barbecues. Believe me, I was never thrilled about this. But I didn’t cry about it either. I wanted to make partner.
I know lots of you smug, work-allergic associates out there don’t want to make partner. I get it.