Associate Abuse is a serious and sometimes fatal problem. The scars of humiliation are deep and long-lasting—affecting not just the abused attorneys, but the community in which they live.
There are countless innocent associates who have been laid off at Christmas, kicked in the gut, ditched in random cities. All by sexless, sadistic partners and bitter senior associates. For every incidence of abuse reported, we believe another 30 go unreported.
Obvious signs of Associate Abuse:
- Inability to smile or detect humor
- Talking to inanimate office supplies
- Sudden obsession with Adam Sandler movies
- Inexplicable contempt for coffee vendors
Please report any and all incidences of abuse to firstname.lastname@example.org as soon as possible. Reporting is anonymous. Make it your therapy. Though Bitter Lawyer takes associate abuse seriously, and we sympathize with all victims, only the best submissions will be posted.