The penultimate episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race (Monday, 9/8c on Logo) had the bars across America packed. Our eyes were glued to the screen to watch the memorial service for the dearly departed Katya and to find out who would take her place in the top 3.
Katya has left the building.
And the viewing public weren’t the only ones shaken up by Katya’s elimination. Ginger Minj was equally affected. Although we have to wonder. Katya’s departure leaves Ginger as the only comedy queen left in the competition, which makes it unlikely that Mother Ru will send her sashaying away…or does it? (Insert maniacal laughter here.)
The work room is quiet, given that 75% of the remaining cast are practically devoid of personality. And then, in walks Michelle Visage, bringing with her more Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and (dare I say it) Talent than the ladyboys combined.
This late in the game, the mini-challenge has been abandoned so that the queens can revel in their own awesomeness. Making it to the top 4 is the goal of any drag queen hoping to make it on the show: you can’t get any more air time than that, you only have to beat one girl to be in the top 3 and (hopefully) you’ve been edited to be a hero and not Roxxxy Andrews or Phi Phi O’Hara. Not to mention you’re eternalized in Ru’s music video.
Michelle explains the penultimate episode: the queens will be learning choreography from Kandice Kayne, have their luncheon with Mama Ru, and film a scene in which the queens “act” and then they will walk the runway one last time. Only 3 will make it to the finale, and in a surprise twist, the eliminated queen will not only have the crown ripped from her talons, but will also be edited out of the music video. Wait, wut?! That’s some harsh post-production right there.
Kandice Kayne stomps in looking fierce and whips the ladyboys into shape. Ginger Minj is nervous about the choreography but calms when Kandice notices Violet Chachki’s awkward Gumbi-like dancing. Cue Violet’s “I was born in ’92” excuse when Kandice references the ’80s and Ms. Kayne cannot be bothered.
Then we sit down to lunch with Mama Ru. This gag is tired. Lunch is a bowl of orange Tic-Tacs and both diners have just one on their plate. I am convinced this is a test to see if the queen will actually eat the Tic-Tac. It’s very Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.
While the joke has been repeated for however many seasons we’re up to now, this time they’ve added a moment with a blender, which we gagged for.
All of the girls have a moment with Ru who turns on her Oprah-esque charms.
The music video leaves us “meh” as hair pieces, earrings and just about everything else is coming off. Kandice Kayne’s look tells us everything we have been feeling about this season: these girls are not ready for the big time. Yes, it’s been a grueling month but get it together ladies! We also see the birth of Pearl’s new dance move…The Lurch, which is as ugly as it sounds.
On to the acting challenge. The only great part is Ru playing an elderly(ish) man.
The whole scene was lackluster and for whatever reason Ru has to talk Pearl through it, again. Why Pearl is still in this competition is beyond me, it’s like watching Tyra Sanchez à la season 2 – beautiful with absolutely no personality. Is there something Ru sees off-camera from Pearl that we haven’t seen?
Really, at this point you shouldn’t have to say to someone competing for $100,000 and the chance to be the world’s next drag superstar “Hey why don’t you use the anger you had when you were going to walk off the show?” Especially when they have a one in four chance of winning! Good Lord, don’t wake up Pearl, stay asleep and we will call someone to pack your bags and send you on your merry effing way. I skipped breakfast this morning so it’s possible I might be a little cranky…
The girls come down in their Best Drag Eleganza…wait, wut?!
The first runway was “their best drag”, did we literally run out of looks for these queens? All of them look like they are in their Best (left over) Drag Eleganza and no one stands out as amazing. Kennedy Davenport is my least favorite as she looks like a damn float.
Ru tries one more time to get the ladyboys to destroy their make-up by presenting an enlarged picture of the queens as little boys, asking what they would tell their little selves.
Little Kennedy
Cue the waterworks. At least they know how to work it for the camera when Ru is pretty much feeding them what to do.
The runway concludes with the inevitable almost finale question: Why should they win the title? Kennedy Davenport forgets the difference between conduct and condone and we don’t even need a lip sync, we know who is going home at this point. They lip sync for their lives anyway and Kennedy Davenport is sent packing.
And so, the top 3: Pearl, Violet Chachki and Ginger Minj. Ummm, WOW. If Ginger Minj doesn’t win, this entire season will be completely dead to me. It will be the season that never existed, period.
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