Senior Legal Analyst Wanted

Bitter Editor Columns, Lawyer 1 Comment

JOB TITLE: Senior Legal Analyst

JOB SUMMARY: Bitter Lawyer is seeking a Senior Legal Analyst to join its team of hardworking writers. Candidate must need the job so badly that he will not quit even though he hates said job so much after the first week that he contemplates harming himself or others.

COMPENSATION: Commensurate with relevant experience


  • Must have no relevant experience.
  • Senior citizen preferred, although not required.
  • Must have watched at least a combined four full seasons of Law & Order (or any L&O spinoff), L.A. Law, Ally McBeal, Boston Legal, Knight Rider, and/or Night Court.
  • The candidate must believe he/she has a thorough understanding of the law.
  • The candidate must be adept at improper use of legal terminology and must regularly use incorrect terms. Example: “The defense attorney clearly did not understand the boudoir process. If he had, juror number 4 would have been removed due to his nasty ultra vires.”
  • Must be willing to work unreasonable hours for little or no compensation, work horribly with others, and have inferior verbal and written communication skills.

JOB DESCRIPTION: Write blog posts for Bitter Lawyer containing thorough, insightful legal analysis of current events.

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  • Jerry

    What happened to the blond that was humping the chubby guy in the video? You should get some new video where she losesher bikini in the ocean and the chubby guy gives her his suit to wear and he gets arrested for indecent exposure. You doofuses need some fresh ideas. And the blond sans clothes will get a few more eyeballs on the site.