Poetic Justice, where Bitter Lawyer mashes poems, lyrics, and depositions to come up with a unique brand of resampled artisanal work. We also curate found depositions and other legal literacy. If you come across an awesome piece of poetic justice or feel the need to create one yourself, send it our way. We’ll take a look.
This week: we listen in on the deposition of LMFAO’s Redfoo and Sky Blu.
A: When I walk on by, girls be looking like, damn he fly. Q: You said "fly." Can you describe what you mean by "fly." A: I pimp to the beat, walking down the street in my new lafreak--- MR. SIMMONS: ---and, by Le Freak [phonetic], I believe you mean that item of clothing you referenced before? I believe it was underwear, like underwear if I understand the reference correctly. WITNESS: Yeah. MR. SIMMONS: And when you are, quote, "pimping the beat in your new lafreak," endquote, what are you trying to get across, why do you do that? MS. COLLINS: Objection, compound question. MR. SIMMONS: What are you saying by being in your new lafreak? WITNESS: This is how I roll. Q: How you roll. How else are you pimping up the beat? MS. COLLINS: Objection, mischaracterizes the testimony. I believe he said "pimp to the beat," not "pimping the beat" and especially not "pimping up the beat." MR. SIMMONS: Excuse me, counsel. Mr.--- how else do you, as counsel pointed out, pimp the beat? A: Animal print pants outta control. Q: I guess what I'm asking is this: what are you trying to say when you--- as you just testified--- when you pimp the beat? A: It's RedFoo with the big afro. And like Bruce Leroy I've got the glow. Q: You've got the glow? A: Yo. Q: OK. OK. Excuse me. Let's take a quick break. BY MR. SIMMONS: Now, turning to the events of June 8, 2011, which we covered somewhat before in your testimony. You testified earlier that you came into work at the Party Rock Gym and came into contact with Erica Reese. What did you say to her, to Ms. Reese, when you arrived there? A: Girl look at that body. Q: And then, I believe, Sheila Crawford was also present. Did you say--- what did you say to Ms. Crawford? A: Girl look at that body. Q: And I believe on June 8, again at the Party Rock Gym, in the lobby, Claudia Smith was also present with Ms. Reese and Ms. Crawford. What, if anything did you say to Claudia Smith? A: Girl look at that body. Q: And---did you say anything else to Ms. Crawford, Ms. Reese, or Ms. Smith? A: I work out. Q: So, just "girl, look at that body?" A: Girl look at that body. Q: Nothing else, just "girl, look at that body?" A: Girl look at that body. Q. Nothing else? A: Girl look at that body. I work out. Q: Why do you--- when you come in to work, why do you say this to female employees? A: When I walk in the spot, this is what I see. Everybody stops and they staring at me. Q: I see. And when they are staring at you, what are you thinking? A: I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it. Q: So, you tell everyone---so you then tell female employees, that is Ms. Reese, Ms. Crawford, Ms. Smith---quote "girl, look at that body." You say that--- why? A: I'm sexy and I know it. Q: You're sexy and you know it? A: I'm sexy and I know it. Q: And, pardon me for asking, but what makes you think you are sexy, or at least sexy to these three female employees? A: When I'm at the mall, security just can't fight 'em off--- Q: --- Just a second--- A: --- When I'm at the beach, I'm in a speedo trying to tan my cheeks. Q: Just a minute, Mr. Redfoo. A: This is how I roll, come on ladies it's time to go. Q: Mr. Redfoo. OK, hang on. You, and I believe Ms. Reese went somewhere. Where did you go on June 8, 2011? A: We headed to the bar. Q: And did you say anything to Ms. Reese? A: Baby, don't be nervous. No shoes, no shirt, and I still get service. Q: I see. Did you say anything else to her or anyone else present at the bar? A: Girl look at that body Q: Just, again, girl look at that body? A: Girl look at that body. Q: Anything else? A: Girl look at that body. I work out. Q: And, correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Redfoo, but you say this because you have something in your pants and you are not afraid of it? MS. COLLINS: Jim, I believe he said "I keep passion in my pants. I'm not afraid of it." WITNESS: I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it. MR. SIMMONS: And you think you're sexy. A: I'm sexy and I know it. Q: Got it. A: I'm sexy and I know it. Q: Thanks, I got that, Mr. Red--- hold on. Mr. Redfoo, what are--- BY MR. SKY BLU: Check it out. Q: This is not-- BY MR. SKY BLU: Check it out. BY MR. REDFOO: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. BY MR. SKY BLU: Yeah. MR. SIMMONS: I'd like the record to reflect--- BY MR. REDFOO: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. BY MR. SKY BLU: Yeah. MR. SIMMONS: --- that Mr. Redfoo and the other--- that they are at this moment on the conference room table and are, are, it's hard--- BY MR. REDFOO: ---Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. BY MR. SKY BLU: Yeah. MR. SIMMONS: --- are doing a dance, some sort of dance involving pointing at their crotchal areas, and are doing-- Good, God, this deposition is over --- BY MR. SKY BLU: Do the wiggle, yeah. BY MR. REDFOO: I'm sexy and I know it.
Post image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/evarinaldiphotography/6430192829